Makena. I love you more than life itself, i put so much trust into you. i put it all in for you, i have never loved anyone or anything the way i love you, i didn’t have to be a strong man because you were strong for me, i think of all the moments we have shared together. You kept me from drinking you showed me how to be in love. for 2 years i have loved you more than anything. Now its all gone and you don’t even care. I am in pieces and you are just fine did 2 years not mean a single thing to you? do i not mean anything to you. I feel so empty, Without you i am useless. How could i be so stupid and attach myself to you put some much trust into your hands just so you could crush it and make me want to die, i love you more than i love my own damn life i want to die. i remember when things were hard for you. You wanted to die, you thought about suicide but i was there, i stopped you i made everything go away i made you realize you were beautiful and that life is worth living. Was that just so you could throw me away and never look back? i am so fucking useless, i want you back. Just come back into my arms and make me stronger. make me the man i use to be. I was strong for you and you can’t return the favor?. our anniversary is coming up April 7th. i don’t think I’ll be able to do it anymore. I don’t to have to get over you. Makena your so perfect. How could you hurt me so much? i love you, goodbye.
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Reminds of the song Grenade
“Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
‘Cause what you don’t understand is…
I’d catch a grenade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
You know I’d do anything for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won’t do the same, No, no, no, no”
I hate that song
The irony of professed unconditional love – I will love you and die for you unconditionally… but with one condition, you do the same. You must also die for me. (Oh and with this kind of love you will die if not physically your soul – is it no wonder we run)
Love as need.
Who could live up to such naked need disguised as love?
I love you to death! (Too often I think a literal truth)
Does love not inspire and create?
What kind of love is this that inspires and wishes death?
What would relationship be like if we “love someone to lifeâ€!
(Yes we would have to let go, and letting go hurts)
What would it look like if we created the space for life and for growth!
Isn’t that what we all want?
The space to become ourselves in relationship with others!
Why then when we love do we bound it and control it with our naked needs?
Why the call to death?