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Where do I find the courage?

by ctb-driver
written by ctb-driver

I have hundred’s of reasons to die, and almost none to live (zero that matter).

Where do I find the courage? Get drunk, drop some pills? I do have a loaded gun in mouth, so that part is OK.

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10 comments

AscahIsBroken 4/5/2013 - 2:22 am

Because maybe tomorrow could fix everything.
Maybe tomorrow could change the world?
Maybe tomorrow you’d wanna live

palladium 4/5/2013 - 4:16 am

Things can change, you have to realize that … You might be amazed how much talking someone who know what they’re doing can make that happen. Please consider contacting someone, say at http://www.integralcounseling.org/ … I believe you can talk to people over the phone, possible over email, and if you don’t want to spend much money, they can certainly accomodate you. Just call! You have nothing to lose.

vedura 4/5/2013 - 6:10 am

ASchanisBroken is a polyanna who doesn’t belong on this website. That said, killing yourself is a very hard thing to do. So don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t succeeded.

First of all, you have a survival instinct that will kick in every time. Second, please be careful. A botched suicide could leave you crippled and unable to try again or to try to get better.

Life can get better, but not so soon as tomorrow. It takse a lot of work.

vedura 4/5/2013 - 6:52 am

BTW, be careful with that loaded gun. I used to work in hospitals. Not all gunshots into the mouth end in death. I hate to be a downer but I would hate even more for you to blow away half your face and teeth or end up paralyzed. Suicide in real life is not so easy as in the movies.

coitus 4/5/2013 - 9:37 am

Vedura who are you, to decide who “belongs?” We should try to be more inclusive I think.

AscahIsBroken 4/5/2013 - 10:47 am

I’m sorry but since when does anybody ‘not belong’ on this site?
I’m here cause I’m suicidal.
I had hope yesterday. So I posted the photo that had given me hope so that other people could see it and have hope too.
This site has changed a lot since I joined it.
There used to be encouragement, now it doesn’t seem to exist here.
I don’t have hope today.
Thank you for damaging what glimmer I had.
I’m here because this is a site where I thought I could say how I felt without being judged.
I guess not.

Age of Aquarius 4/5/2013 - 10:59 am

5:25 Our Pollyanna. Thank you vendura, thank you very much.

Age of Aquarius 4/5/2013 - 11:01 am

I didnt see AscahalsBroken’s comment. She must be online at the sane time. This can’t be a coincidence. It’s a sign. I’m going to act upon it.

Age of Aquarius 4/5/2013 - 12:02 pm

I wasn’t agreeing with what Vendura said. I don’t say mean things otherwise it’ll mess up my karma. I can’t afford to do that right now.

vedura 4/12/2013 - 4:30 am

AscahIsBroken, I apologize if I misread you. When I saw a post in which someone says they have a gun in their mouth, I found your comment dismissive of a very serious situation that doesn’t heal overnight.

I hope ctb-driver did not follow though and is seeking professional help.

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