I went out to see some of my old friends yesterday. They changed so much I ended up drinking a lot I blacked out. I hate the feeling of not knowing what happened, I just wake up in my bed. I’ve done this a lot lately. For some reason I get paranoid. I have a bite mark on me and who the fuck did that. I’m miserable. I’ve never wanted to die so much. I don’t think I will be leaving my house anytime soon.
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Hi Samantha… Hmmm… Funny that you mentioned getting wasted… To be honest… I have no clue what to say now… Cause I don’t think what I say ever helps you… but whatever… How are ya now, girl?
A lot of what you say helps me. I have a head ache. How are you?
I’m a bit dizzy… I’ve been sipping chocolate liquoir all day long… I made a bit of a habit of drinking lately (not getting wasted, though; I hate that)… Otherwise… I feel like I have always been feeling… lonely… Anyways… What have you been up to these days, Sam?
That’s cool. I’ve decided drinking is not my thing. I don’t weigh enough to not get wasted. I’ve been feeling lonely to. My doctor put me on another pill. I don’t want to be like my mom taking medication just to get through the day.
Hmmm… Once upon a time… I took meds too… But they were only making me feel worse… So I stopped taking them… and did things my way… “fighting” using my mind… Ah, anyways… It sucks being lonely… How are things with your boy, btw?
P.S. I’m gonna go for a walk now… Since you’re in the US… I guess it’s only afternoon there… So… will you be on later, Sam?
The only medication that works for me is klonopin. Well he’s going away he asked me to marry him. I have not gave him an answer yet. I don’t think I want to keep going in this relationship with him I feel as if it gives me more pain then joy. Yes I will be on later.
Hi, Sam… I wasn’t on last night… I came home at midnight… and was too tired to talk…
Hmmm… if he wants to marry you… couldn’t he stay with you and find a job? I don’t know… I guess that “when love hurts, it won’t work”… It’s your choice, girl… How are you today, btw?