You are probably sitting alone thinking why me? Why is this happening to me? What did i do to deserve this? Am i being punished? WHY ME? I am Jojo Ladd and i suffer from severe anxiety and depression. Im currently on medication which only seems to be making things worse. I try to tell myself ‘things will get better’ but they never do. But i dont give up because im here for a reason and i had a shitty childhood for a reason and i had to hit rock bottom for a reason. I may not be perfect and have problems and scars but i’m me. And “Me” is beautiful and so ARE ALL OF YOU OTHERS struggling with suicide YOU ARE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL and perfect to me.
I will be posting my story soon about everything ive been through and my coming out and accomplishments. Thank you for your time and reading this. -Jladd
36 comments
We should be careful and more skillful regarding the questions we ask ourselves.
“Why me†is a question that can never be fully answered or known and worse when our answers or lack of answers which creates the anxiety and depression.
Something happened we didn’t like and instead of dealing with it we ask why me, and asking why me become depressed not because something happened we didn’t like but because we asked the question why me.
Why ask ‘why me’? Wouldn’t it be more helpful to ask better questions such as what happened, what is it about what happened that I didn’t like? At least once named, you might be able to do something about?
I wish some of you would read things more carefully before you comment. These are questions people ask when they are in a shitty place. Read better.
Why not you? What makes you so much better than everyone else that you shouldn’t suffer with pain? I don’t mean to sound sour, just making a point. We go on about how horrible our lives are, but, we should be grateful to have the chance to experience feelings. And for a lot of us on this site, we forget to be thankful to have the basics of life- food, water, a home- cause there are people out there who only have their families, some don’t, and go through life hoping, just hoping everyday they will be saved. Don’t knock out the gratitude for your life, be grateful to be alive, even if you don’t really want to be.
It is not speaking about just me but more of asking the same questions other might when they find them selves in a situation. No one asked for you’re opinion so keep it to yourself unless you have something worth reading. I’m on here to share my story and hope someone will read it and know there is hope and not darkness. Have a nice day. GFY
“And “Me†is beautiful and so ARE ALL OF YOU OTHERS struggling with suicide YOU ARE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL and perfect to me.” ↠I know I am.
This site is for helping and sharing stories not asshole comments. I’m glad you know you are it’s good to have confidence. Good For You buddy!
Thanks.
Woah, calm down. I wasn’t commenting anything negative- and the opinion went for a lot of others on here. I thought it would be a good post to say that on and it would be important for people to realize what I said.
I never said I was special and that I shouldn’t suffer because I’m still suffering. So you are making it worse by commenting when you have no idea.
Reading this thread makes me want to fart.
Lol why don’t you fuck off? It’s people like you that need to just go away. Lol when I read your comment I want to puke. Good day
Jladd, you’re too sensitive. I know you’re suffering buddy, we all are, but it’s hell your through, you won’t be stuck in there forever.
Sensitive my ass. I am I being to sensitive because my mother beats me or because my father abandoned me? Well get your head out of your ass friend because you don’t know a thing. And you think I’m not but I am because I live in fear everyday my own mother will hurt me and even more scared to be taken away and yeah this is my son story but you need to think about things before you say shit. Last I remember to this is a site for sharing stories so I don’t want to hear your crap. Have a nice day.
I don’t feel beautiful and perfect. I also don’t think being afflicted with profound, debilitating depression, makes me “beautiful” or “perfect.” Most people i’ve met seem to think that way too. I don’t know anyone else who thinks i’m “beautiful” or “perfect.”
I don’t even know anyone who values my existence, other than a few immediate family members… and let’s face it: that’s just not enough.
I alone value my own existence. I alone value my time. I alone value the parts of me, inside, that no one i’ve found is willing to dig deeper to know, which would be foolish, at best, to go around announcing to this harsh and unforgiving world.
Sure, some people would “care” if i were to end my life… but very few, if any, would care if i continue to be miserable for its duration.
I actually don’t even care whether anyone “cares.” What i care about is enjoying my life while i’m alive to live it, and the fact that i am miserable because i cannot.
Maybe beautiful like a train wreck, perfect like chaos…
You might not see your self as beautiful or perfect but I sure as hell do. You are here for a reason and life is so precious.
And as I recall this site says “Post your stories and no hate” shows how well some of you read. But I guess school didn’t do a damn thing for you.
i dont see anything wrong with this post. chill the fuck out, people. these are things i question myself also, jladd.
Here to suffer? Some people suffer more than others and it’s usually the good people that do. It depends on the person. Do you want to rough it out or do you want a way out?
Jladd, I’m not going against you or anything, and yes, i dont know things about you. Im more trying to help you. Respect other people’s opinions bro. I’m sorry that you get beated by you mom, its not right. I am totally against child abuse and it’s something you should get help for. Best of luck, and remember to realise to be grateful for life (:
Don’t call me bro. And I am very grateful for life maybe if you reread my “why me” post you would see I am. Ignorant people comment on things they think they understand. You’d have to go through what I do to know why I’m afraid to get help. And these question are directed at everyone not just me. Asking question people would normally ask themselves if they were in a bad situation. I am nothing special an I value life otherwise I wouldn’t be on here sharing my personal experiences in hopes someone would learn from it and know there’s hope.
Sorry, and it’s good you’re grateful for life, it’s hard to be when you’re in bad depression. I just re read the post, and with the stupidity I have, I can now see who you are. I like what you said at the end of the first paragraph and how you said that, yes, you are you. I’m sorry if I offended you in any way, I didn’t really mean to.
I’m tired of this. Hey kid stop being a troll. Get off your damn high horse. We don’t need ignorant comments like yours. You call them ignorant? You’re being ifnorant woth every response. You don’t want help thats it. These people weren’t attacking you, and what do you do? Call them names and tell them to fuck off. If anything you’re making this site worse and you’re making people with problems like you feel like crap. You aren’t giving anyone hope. Also how can people learn from your experiece if YOU don’t get HELP. You are the most ignorant person commenting on this post. Please stop trolling. Also saying “Read better” is not proper english it’s lazy. You should have said “Read more carefully so you don’t miss what I was trying to say” . No hate on this site right?! Idiot shut up all your responses to the comments are full of hate. You’ve insulted people and called them names. You’re a troll and you think you’re better than everyone else. Comments like “schoold didn’t do a damn thing for you”. I guess no one taught you manners or any sort of respect. You deserve no respect because you aren’t capable of being even remotely human. Please just stop. Well I’m done with this post. Comment whatever you want about what I just said, it won’t change how ignorant and trollish you are. Have fun brat.
Oh my gosh, thank you! I know you’re suffering Jladd, but I kind agree with AtTheEnd. I was paying respect to you and you were being a very ignorant person. Don’t do that with anyone else, I tried to help you and you didn’t even respect that.
Lol I’m not a troll or anything when people comment with their stupid comments I have a right to respond back.
I’m tired of you. Hey “kid” why don’t you back off. Okay you guys obviously don’t read things clearly and know this is questions people ask themselves. And how the hell were you trying to help me cause I’d really like to know? And when people comment on my things saying rude and hurtful things because they think they have an “idea” and you expect me not to saying anything back. Well I’m glad you have the courage to say something but I’m doing no wrong except defending myself and my post and I may be ignorant but some of you need to learn how to read. And you insulted me so that makes you no better. Now if you wish to continue email me and we shall talk because you don’t know where I’m coming from and I’m tired of all you commenting negative opinions. Ok? Ok.
And you don’t like my posts or comments I put back don’t read them. Simple as that.
Jladd have to agree some people don’t bother reading a post properly before flapping off their mouths, and you have every right to be offended by this – its disrespectful. You had a beautiful message that people, in their ignorance, just shit all over
@Jladd
I wish some of you would read things more carefully before you comment. These are questions people ask when they are in a shitty place. Read better
I don’t disagree, “Why me†is a question that people ask when they are in a shitty place. My thought on your post was to wonder if it was the question that kept the person stuck in the shitty place.
Eventually the actual events leading to the shitty place become irrelevant and all that is left is the “Why me†cry into the dark with no intention to turn on the light.
The cry “why me†is often heard as being a childish petulant aggressive cry for attention and sympathy, permission to feel sorry for ourselves. When we all cry “why me†there is no room for to care why you? (A possible reason behind the responses to your post)
“Why Me†is a question children cry when things don’t go their way. There is a time for all things and a time to put away childish things.
The question “why me” is not helpful.
We must all learn to Question Better.
I’m not on about the post :3 I commented because despite the fact that some comments were unnecessary jlad did in fact attack pascal trees who misunderstood and apologized for it and even then he/sge continued to insult pascal trees and others. That is why I commented. Regarding the actual post, heartfelt message and yes a question everyone asks themselves, but a question that does not help get to the truth of the matter. Also thanks for saying we’re all perfect and beautiful but we’re not. Well everyone here is beautiful but we aren’t perfect. We’re human with many if not some problems, sweet message, appreciate the sentiment. Forgive me for being rude and calling you names and tes I never said i hadn’t sunken to your level, I’m no white knight.
O-M-G!!! How DARE you call me “beautiful” and “perfect”! You have no idea what i go through or what i look like! I’m such a mess and you DARE to tell me I’m perfect and beautiful?!?
(End Sarcasm)
Seriously … the first three comments on this post were perfectly supportive and respectful, and you, JLadd, come on to your own post and screw up your originally very good and positive message by doing the very thing you accuse everyone else of doing – not reading properly.
Bravo – i hope you look back and see that Left and Pascal were both supporting your original point and have been nothing but classy and supportive here and on many other posts … i hope … but i won’t hold my breath
literary dawg
If ou see it from my perspective it looks like some of you are bashing my paragraph and maybe I handled things the wrong way and I apologize. Sincerely. But wouldn’t you be pissed off if somebody comments on your post and days “this post makes me want to fart” and yeah I didn’t handle the right way and we all make mistakes and I’m recognizing my mistakes now an shouldn’t have been so rude. Also it would be great if you guys would explain yourselves a little more when you comment because of it looks like bashing. Again I apologize for my obnoxious behavior.
-Jladd
Its interesting that you mention perspective, Jladd. The guy who said ‘This thread makes me want to fart’ wasn’t necessarily being mean. Don’t you feel a tremendous sense of relief when you let one go?(I sure as hell do). So if you were able to help somebody release a little bit of pent up pressure, that’s not a bad thing. (Unless you happen to be in a confined space near the person relieving themselves).
Like I said ‘perspective’ looks like it was a rude comment.
“You are probably sitting alone thinking…”
The very first line, the first phrase of the post, implies she(?) is reaching out to others who may feel similar things as what is listed. She(?) goes on to identify with them, confess her own difficulties, and attempt to offer a sort of hopeful gesture for others, and then says she(?) thinks everyone of us is beautiful (and ‘perfect’)… and that it’s okay to be ourselves. We are thanked for reading.
Now…
Left22 has some wisdom, and attempts to get to the roots of problems. I agree with the idea that we should learn to ask the right questions, rather than asking stuff like “why me?” because ‘why me’ can’t really be answered in a helpful way. Why you? Well, because of all the things that lead to your existence. Everything that happened before us, is “why” us. You can’t change the past, and we don’t choose which body in which our consciousness may manifest. We just sort of arrive, inexplicably, in this life… and then do our best to live it.
However, i think Jladd took Left22’s comment as though Left22 was interpreting it as Jladd asking “why me?” when in fact, she(?) was simply attempting to identify with a common question of desperation, asked by those in despair. I think both Jladd and Left22 realize that asking “why me?” isn’t really going to help. I mean, i guess if you want to understand your own origins, then by all means, ask yourself… but finding the reasons for why your life is the way it is, won’t change anything. Only action can change it.
That perspective misunderstanding is the source of why people got worked up, here.
I agree that everyone should calm down. lol. 🙂
Also: i do think that Jladd is most likely inclined to be defensive, and most likely IS “too sensitive,” but probably for the valid reasons related to her(?) own circumstances.
Anyone who is regularly abused is going to be sensitive to perceived “attacks,” and is going to be inclined toward defense. If you put someone on defense often enough, they’ll be “trained” for defense. They’ll expect incoming attacks, and will learn to see them as early as possible, in order to have as much advanced warning as possible, as to be the most prepared for their impacts.
I don’t think it’s “wrong” to be “too sensitive” or “defensive,” when life trains you to be exactly that. But i do think that maybe someone who is so sensitive, should not be offended by being seen as sensitive. That said: i can imagine Jladd probably doesn’t like the idea of being so sensitive, at least partially due to the requirement to be tough, to be effectively defensive, in order to get through her own difficulties.
When someone calls me something i know is true, something that i wish i wasn’t, i get pretty upset too… but because i AM that, not because they’re calling me that.
It upsets me when things i don’t want to be, are readily noticeable to others… partially because it sets a precedent, and causes them to think “that’s the way he is…” which then makes it incredibly difficult for them to see differently, if i am ever able to change that aspect of myself.
So, i guess what i’m saying is: i can identify with being “too sensitive” and overly-defensive, and with not liking being called-out on it.
But hey, if i don’t defend myself, who will? If i can’t feel things intensely, then i won’t sufficiently understand how things affect me. On the other hand, perhaps being offensive and invulnerable, could work better for achieving my goals? If i can’t do what i need to do, to get what i want out of life, then i’m stuck without what i want, as something i wish i wasn’t… whether anyone thinks i’m “beautiful and perfect” or not.
Yes, there is NOTHING wrong with the post. And for the other people who commented at the start were quite rude. And I do kind of agree, he/she did have some right to defend her/himself. I probably started the whole argument, sorry Jladd.