Like I never thought I’d be the one to be suicidal but I can’t stand my reality and the thoughts I have. It’s really really agonizing and frustrating. Like I think of things that shouldn’t even matter. Like why am I human and why do I have to be human and see other humans all the time. Like humans are stupid and weird. I like weird but its unexplainable. I just feel very very repulsed as a human. I can’t stand it, makes me wanna kill myself everyday but I don’t cause I gotta live for my family and boyfriend. I also can’t take it that the world is completely pointless and everything we do is pointless. I just wanna drink and smoke myself to death. I’m tired of living. I just wanna rot and decay into nothingness. Like no one else has a problem with having doing things and never asking why. Maybe this is all stupid but I’m just very very very repulsed and aggravated ughhhhhhhhhhhh.
Please don’t be offended guys. It’s just how I feel.
5 comments
i hate my mind too. its healthy to ask why. and especially why not. you’re repulsed by humans because you know you’re a spirit being. not a human being.
i know exactly how you feel. like why is it wrong to kill yourself despite no one giving you the choice to live. it was thrust upon you and all the while your brain, biology, and body chemistry are designed with a very twisted sense of self-preservation. its a prison.
“Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay
To mould me man? Did I solicit thee
From darkness to promote me?â€-john milton
Smh, it’s just very agonizing and irritating. what’s the point of it all.
I wish life had a button that says: I’m done with life can I go now.
I hate my mind cos there is a demon trying to take over it and make me do bad shit which I’m managing to hold off.