I’ve had suicidal thoughts for the past several years now. Especially for the past 3 years. I consider myself a spiritual person, but I’m starting to believe that God wants me to take my own life. Life just keeps on getting worse!
This is my first post, and I am desperate for guidence and help!
6 comments
You can’t “take” something you already have.
“God” is only an idea that you believe.
An idea cannot want. An idea cannot love. An idea cannot physically save you, nor can it “will” you to do anything.
The “idea” that there is a superbeing watching over us all, waiting for us to pray hard enough and believe hard enough, before allowing us to prosper in life… will only lead to profound disappointment, confusion and despair… possibly even psychosis, and loss of connection to reality.
There is no actual God. Only the idea of a god, exists. Countless problems are caused by people embracing that idea as though it were completely true, despite reality showing otherwise.
People say “god works in mysterious ways…” only because they don’t want to accept the irrationality of their false beliefs, because when critical thinking is applied, there is no way to validate or justify a reasonable belief in something that is not supported by evidence.
In other words: the only “reason” anyone can give, to support the existence of any “god,” is “because i say so.”
Men wrote a book and called it the word of god, and people believed it.
The problem is that most people don’t even agree on the definition of “God.” Most cannot define it without farcically blatant contradictions. It is impossible to view reality and also believe in “God,” without cognitive dissonance.
Your parents should have figured this out long ago, and guided you to be independent and self-sufficient, to see and understand yourself and your environment clearly, rather than teaching you dependence and reliance upon fantasies and wishful thinking.
Many billions of humans have died before today. None of them were ever saved by any supreme being. People who think they are talking to “God,” or are receiving “signs” or “the word” directly… are simply hallucinating.
You need to become strong, self-reliant, self-sufficient, independent, and competent in all relevant survival means.
Once you know how to maintain your survival, you decide what your life means, and then what meaning to give it, through your actions, knowing that life is temporary, and will end someday.
I know this isn’t the “guidance” you were expecting… but the reason you’re here, now, is because you were not adequately prepared for the realities of life. The comforting fantasies of the hereafter, are all some people can muster, to avoid despair and cope with the harshness of life.
I don’t expect agreement or even appreciation. I just think that going through the process of accepting reality, will lead to a better chance at attaining some semblance of peace… but it’s a hard journey to reach that destination… but it’s an achievement that can follow you through the rest of your journey, should you become able to create it.
Peace isn’t found; it’s made… by us.
Make your peace. Learn to guide yourself, in the absence of answers you seek.
God will test us in this life, but the test is in THIS life. You fail gods test if you opt out now. So have faith and be strong.
Why is it that God tests some people so much harder and treats them so much shittier than others? Why would we have to be tested. Isn’t life itself a test? That’s why I’ve backed away from my belief in God. I still say it’s possible there’s a higher power, but not something or some entity that micromanages our lives or tests us.
Good reply, clevername!
Well however you look at the higher power, I believe whatever it is, above all it’s a game-life. It has goals and opposition and failure, and victory, all elements of a game. And like any game, like any test, there will be questions. Questions of fairness and failure. We will always wonder why we have been dealt this hand in life. And there will be players placed in better runnings, higher standings than us. Without them we wouldn’t know how high our potential reaches. Without them we wouldn’t feel the pressure of opposition. We wouldn’t try harder to live our lives with happiness and content. And life shows us the miserable failed lives of others to grant us a sense of compassion and empathy.
Life is not meant to be fair for all these reasons..I suppose
I thought about all these questions already. I do see life as one big game, but sometime you have to sacrifice a pawn to win the game. I feel like that pawn! The people all around me are self serving their agendas.
Bask to reality…
About three and a half years ago, I was doing alright for myself (although I didn’t appreciate it then). I was consultant, with a consulting firm, traveling around the country. I was basically living with my gf at the time in NYC. When the economy dried up, so did business, so I was layed off. This put stress on my relationship with my gf, then three months later we broke up. At the same time my closest friends got married. So suddenly I found myself alone.
My immediate family moved down to Florida a year earlier, so I decided to make the move south as well. Big Mistake, and now I am paying dearly. My friends felt that I was abandoning them, but the fact of the matter was that I simply could not afford to live in the NY/NJ area anymore.
The bottom line is that since moving down here, I have had four career jobs in three years. I can’t seem to hold a job down here. I think the biggest contributor to this has been my depression affecting my work. I also learned and was tested this past year that I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder called PDD-NOS (at age 38). There is a lot of support out their for children with an Autism, very little for adults. I am also living here with my parents and it seems we get into fights all the time. I am constantly being told how much of burden I am to them.
You see, my life just keeps on getting worse! I am way in debt! Livng with my folks at age 39! I have been applying to jobs in my field all over the country, get lots of interviews, but no one want to hire me! I don’t whether to whether to persue another career path (I have master’s degree in my field). I feel like a deer stuck headlights standing the middle of Times Square.
I just can’t see myself continuing on like this !!!!!!!!!!!!