I haven’t really been feling well. Which isn’t out of the ordinary for me. Last night it got back and I was in a lot of pain. So I went to the ER. I brought to the doctors attention that I might be pregnant.
I am on birth control. I am sexually active. Even with birth control I still use condoms. Well one night the guy that I have been sleeping with, didn’t use a condom. And all it took was that one time.
Well they ran tests. The only that came back positive was my pregancy test. The pain I was in was due to the pregnancy. Im having trouble this time because, over a year ago I had an abortioin. Even that time I was on birth control, but I guess it’s my luck.
Well the doctor wanted me to take it easy, get sleep, and try to stay relaxed. Well the relax part is hard. Im always under stress. I guess with me being under so much stress, not sleeping right, going out all the time, and the previous abortion, it’s all taking a toll on my body. If i don’t stop there is a big chance of a misscarriage.
I texted the guy that Im pregnant by and told him what was going on. Well he wants a kid but not by me. And I feel the same way. He suggested abortion. I just lost it on him. There is no way I can put myself through that.
I just want to cry but I can’t. I want to scream, but when I open my mouth nothing comes out.
IM JUST SO LOST AND CONFUSED. I’m going to live up to what I did. I mean it was my choice. Im open to adoption even an open adobtion. Im 19, I have big plans in life. That doesn’t really include a child at the moment. I know this time around I can go through the pregancy meantal and physically. I just want this child to have a good life.
1 comment
Even though your at such a young age you and your boyfriend should own up to your baby, have it and keep it! Do u want to end your childs life, have it in a foster home, have two famalies? It’s your choice, don’t worry, i’ll be proud of any choice you make for this baby, just try to make its life good. You sound strong, stay that way!!! (: best of luck <333 Jess.