My life has no meaning. I spend almost all my time doing nothing, when i try to do something different, i fail and feel like i can;t do anything. since i was 6 years old, my older sister would of called me names and yelling to me im incapable and retarded. It might sound like it’s not so bad but then again i have my mother yelling and shouting to me how much of horrible daughter. she tells me how my brother and sister are better and that she would of never got me in this world if she knew what i was going to be. I cut myself and the need is so big i can;t keep avoiding it. i feel relief when i see blood coming out and then guilt and embarrassment. I feel worthless, i have no one that cares. I have thought about suicide for so long. Pills,cutting,rope. These thoughts keep coming back to me. But no ones even cares and no one knows what i’m going through. It hurts.
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2 comments
I know how this feels like. I moved out at 18 after having a huge screaming argument with my family. Apparently me paying for half the rent wasnt enough for them. I was working to stay in the house. Whereas everyone else got to spend their money on anything they wanted. I had 3 jobs through the highschool years just to pay for rent. I didn’t even have access to the tv and internet I was paying for. It sucked.
I did pills, cut and beat myself almost everyday and no one batted and eye.
Get yourself out more, as hard as it sounds. even get a part time job to meet new people. It really helps. Plus, you have a community of poeple here that share the same feelings as you do.
Chin up 🙂
Your expectations should be commensurate with what is reasonably expected of a person with your level of education, finances and age.
Most people don’t achieve all the milestones in life like owning their own home, getting married, having children and whatever else normal people should be doing.
Firstly, identify your aspirations and then consider whether they are reasonable. It takes time and effort to get anywhere. Maybe you don’t know yet and that’s ok too. I don’t know either; doubt I’ll ever get it.
When people say mean things, it’s usually because they are discontent in their own lives.
It’s your life, you’re the one that has to live it so just do whatever you want and don’t let them put you down.
It’s really low self-esteem that’s the problem here. Consider the things you value most and if you come to the conclusion that looks, money and being popular are less of a priority you might be on the right track. There are lots of other things you can do that you might find rewarding and that can give you a greater sense of accomplishment.