Do the wounds or damage caused by a persons past ever fade or go away? With me the answer is always no. Everywhere i turn there’s someone or something that reminds me of a past i wish wasn’t mine. My past has changed me in ways i wish it hadn’t. Because i don’t believe i was meant to be someone with an inability to trust anyone, someone whose afraid to trust someone enough to let them in , because trust means giving someone your heart and trusting them not to break it. But, i’ve been burned so many times by those closest to me, my mum, my best friend of almost a decade, and many other people but those are the most significan. But it’s the constant betrayal of those i choose to trust, that leaves me with emotional and physical scars that never fade or go away that remind me of all my past failures and that leaves me paralyised. and life is suppose to be about finding someone who you can connect with and trust with all your heart, but how can you do that heartbreak after heartbreak…when you’ve been rejected, betrayed and burned by every relationship you’ve ever had. How can i keep taking a leap of fate, giving someone my heart and trusting them not to break, when thats all that’s ever happened to me?
1 comment
I know how it feels.
For me, the pain has eased. It eased a lot because I now see that I wasn’t the problem in my marriage (14 years). My wife was a horror, a true horror. While I wont say I never did anything wrong, because everyone makes mistakes, I came to the realization that I wasn’t responsible for her evil.
See your experiences for what they are worth. If you had people treat you like crap, its their issue, it doesnt define who YOU are.