Why am i afraid of love? I enjoy talking to her and bonding but for some reason i can’t allow myself to get past a certain stage with women. It’s like the initial spark is easy to take in, however i can never make it something serious. I always cut myself off from these connections naturally. Its not because i want to but i do it because i fear of what it could turn out to be. The tought of being in love with somebody sounds nice but it also scares me. I think I’m afraid of allowing myself to be happy with someone and […]
Trust
People may view me as outgoing, kind, obnoxious, bitchy, annoying, funny, weird, loud, extrovert, smart or stupid. That how I am in public. In reality i’m lonely, broken, hurt, scared, shy and quiet. No one knows how I truly feel. I don’t trust anyone because I’m always betrayed. I am broken and won’t ask for help.
About two months ago my girlfriend broke up with me, we ended on good terms well in her eyes.. I was destroyed, I thought she was cheating on me because 4 days before she did it she went to hang out with her friend who had a huge crush on her, of what I wasn’t to happy, mainly because it was only going to be them.. She then never said good night or anything she would just disappear, anyway, one of the last things she promised me is that she would never get back with my best friend because he treated her like shit, when […]
I feel like a nobody, and like a burden to the others who do care. I have no health insurance, and a wisdom tooth that needs to come out. Daily I am reminded by excruciating pain, that I need to have it removed. No dental surgeons in the area and even out of my area, are willing to do payment plans for me. My husband even offered to sell his play station to put a down payment onto the bill, and no go! I feel like if […]
I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.
I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]
I have been cutting for about three months now. I cut my wrists, legs and stomach. I have been very good at hiding them, at least I thinks so, but now I have a problem. I’m sick therefore not going to school and left alone at home for the day. My mom’s friend is a doctor and my mom asked her to come over and check upon me, find out why I’m sick and how to recover. I’m so scared that the doctor is going to make me undress, because I’ve been to doctors loads of times before I started self harming and many times […]
Love is a lie. It’s just misery, suffering, and pain covered up by so called “trust”, but when someone you love abuses your trust, the pain is revealed. The chemicals that make you feel warm around someone only trick you. Nobody can be trusted. Trust isn’t real, there is no certainty. It’s all lies and betrayal, and it only leaves you lonely and scarred.
She plays with razors
She traces he scars
She counts her flaws like she counts stars
You think you know her but you dont
Everyday her thoughts get darker
Her heart sinks a little more
She doesnt see the light anymore
“Open up to me, I won’t judge you.”
“Trust me, I won’t hurt you.”
“I’ll never leave you.”
“I love you.”
All the lies they told me.
This probably isn’t the best idea, but…
I’ll get straight to the point. I’m doing this because so many people on here don’t have someone they can confide in reliably and honestly, its the same for me. But if you want to, you can email me at misbahq93@gmail.com
I don’t have much of a social life so I’ll try to respond as soon as possible to any emails. Please, if you really need someone, don’t hesitate. I know I’m not much but I’ll try my best to help you out or at least listen to what you have to say…
It’s funny how things work out. I’ve been through so much pain and so many trials. I never thought I would make it this far. God gives you darkness to build you up, then He gives you light to show you that you made it. My boyfriend has brought me back to Him and showed me there is something much bigger than my problems. I stay reading the Bible and I stay in prayer while he does the same. Thing is in a relationship, “if he’s not helping you to become a better person, succeed, and be happy, you need to let him go.” I […]
All of this is so triggering, I try to ignore the temptation to make my wrists raw. That’s all on me, though, I should just avoid reading some of the stuff on here I guess…
Since you’re reading this…
Tell me some ways you make yourself feel better (even if it only makes you feel slightly better..) Trust me… I’ll need it
~E
People can just really screw you over sometimes. Each and every person is capable of being disloyal, dishonest, fake, or cruel. so why take the risk? If there is any possible chance that someone will leave or lie or whatever, why go to them for help?
Youre all you’ve got in the world.
Theres nothing that scares me more than the word “alone”. Whenever I hear this, my heart speeds up a bit. I think that’s my biggest fear: being alone. But I am. I can’t trust anyone but myself. And I can’t even trust myself in some situations. It’s terrifying. I am unpredictable. And maybe that […]
Do you know that girl that always goes for the asshole.. Whether it be because she feels like she’s not good enough, she loves him, she’s scared or a lot of other things.. That’s me. I’m that girl that went out with a guy that I “love” for two, almost 3 years. Cussing at me, hitting me and manipulating me was his game.. He made me believe it wa my fault for him having sex with girls because I wouldn’t. He would just tell me the worst of things.
I loved him so much. He would tell me when he would want to […]
Do the wounds or damage caused by a persons past ever fade or go away? With me the answer is always no. Everywhere i turn there’s someone or something that reminds me of a past i wish wasn’t mine. My past has changed me in ways i wish it hadn’t. Because i don’t believe i was meant to be someone with an inability to trust anyone, someone whose afraid to trust someone enough to let them in , because trust means giving someone your heart and trusting them not to break it. But, i’ve been burned so many times by those closest to me, my mum, […]
Today felt like a rollercoaster for me. my day started pretty good, yeah I had some troubles with waking up and getting out of bed, but that’s quite normal for me. I was at time for my therapy. I have 5 days a week therapy from 9 am till 3 pm. Well, also that started prettu good, until the section visual arts. We had to draw the vulnerable side of ourselfs. I became very emotional of my drawing (I was drawing the word ‘trust’ with the first t as a cross) and when we were done, we had to say what you’ve had drawn and […]
Trust.
Just 5 letters.
A simple word.
But it’s not quite simple to trust.
I can’t trust anyone, even not myself.
I will never trust people for 100%.
Actually, I always had effort with trusting people, but after the times people used and harmed my trust so many times, I know I’ll never trust people for 100%. I never trusted people very quickly, but after everything that happened, it’s a miracle when I trust someone a little bit.
Trust is a word I don’t really like to hear.
It’s a word that’s much more difficult than you would think.
Does trust actually exists??
Just a poem I’ve written a few days ago. I’ve written it because I can’t trust anyone and nobody understands it because it’s almost normal for those people, so I had to write it down in a poem to express my feelings.
~ Trust is something that everyone needs,
but how can you trust people when they’ve harmed the trust you’ve had in people so many times?
How can you trust people when you even can’t trust yourself?
How can you trust people when you are constantly afraid they will leave you?
How can you have trust in people when you realize it’s unpossible to […]
So me and my ex just had this HUGE fucking fight about cutting. (It was a big fight considering I had an anxiety attack) He’s never cut and he didn’t know I did. I felt like it was time to tell him so I did. He flipped shit on me and told me he would kill himself (which he won’t). He said he loves me and wants to be with me. I am the same but I told him I wasn’t going through his shit again. I told him also that if he wanted to be with me again he had to earn a hall of a lot of […]
all I want is for someone to ask me if I’m OK and know that I’m lying when I say that I’m fine
Life has been pretty hard lately. I’ve been really sad quite often  for pretty much no reason and I never want to get out of bed, like ever. I try doing homework and then I decide to just sit there staring or surf the web or go back to sleep. It scares me, I don’t want to feel this way. I wish I could talk to someone about the way I feel but I don’t feel like there’s anyone I can trust.
It’s worse when I’m tired, I just sit there and hardly talk at all and feel terrible and all I want is for someone […]