.

all that they want from me is to play my part in social gatherings. they don’t want to be embarrassed because of their son. how do they see me? just another dot in this social web. i have all kind of social strings attached to me. i’m a position holder: a son, a brother, the heir of this fucking heritage. and they don’t give me required powers either. they think of me as some lowly being. fuck i hate them so much. just let my sister’s marriage complete and i’m gonna show ’em who i am. just just let me get the opportunity.
why do they treat me like that? they always preferred society over me. society – my eternal enemy. they view me through its veil. they judge me through its eyes. i’m not playing my part, that’s why i’m lowly. they compare me to the dumbest people of my family and try to motivate me by saying “you are atleast somewhat better than him”! what the hell do they expect by saying that? have they never ever seen their son? ever?? don’t they always turn to me for ideas, and yet they are calling me dumb? they are making me lowly… and i’ll become so. they are calling me dumb… and i’ll become so. hear that.
i’m gonna end up like underground man. that’s my future.