i dont know

this is my first time writing here. I usually don’t like to share my feelings with people but i really just don’t know where to go. I lost my dad to cancer about 5 years ago ever since i think about him every night he was my best friend i started high school this year and its is i dont know most people that know me would say i have a pretty good life i have “tons of friends” or at least what i thought were friends and i am a star football player but what people dont know is that everyday im taunted or picked on and they think cuz im me i will just shake it off and wont worry about it but the truth is almost every night i come home sit in my room and just cry i think to myself why why did God have to take my dad from me why did it have to be this way i have talked to my mom about how ive been feeling and ive been seeing a therapist but its just not working its just getting worst and worst a couple of days ago a teacher called me out infront of the whole class calling me fat and lazy the insult itself is not what hurt but the fact that i could hear the entire class laughing at me while i wanted to do nothing but leave my grades have started droping because im tired and cant focus in school and im tired and cant focus because im usually up every night till about midnight crying and thinking about what i did to deserve this my mom talked to my teachers today and my teachers told her that for as long as i live im never going to amount to anything then she came home and told me that my effort is terrible and if i kept doing bad my classes she is going to lose faith in me just like my teachers did right now i just feel worthless on this earth i feel like i dont belong here my pastor at my church tells me i have to stay strong and that God has a plan for me but at this rate i cant tell if this is Gods plan or the Devils plan..please help i dont know how much longer i can take living on a world of pain and suffering