Hi Guys,
Yes I posted yesterday…. It was a bit earlier than normal… Sorry.
So today. Today was an sdjkjsskfjk day. Nothing really exciting happened… Well I guess I shouldn’t say that. A new semester began today at school. Which means a new schedule. Which means new seats. And new teachers. Well of course in one class guess who I get to sit by for a whole semester (about 90 days) MY BULLY. Wooo…. Not. So that’s that. On the bright side I moved to my honors English class :D.
So yeah. How am I doing? Emotionally: Unstable. Physically: In Pain.
I don’t know how long I can keep this up guys. Emotionally I’m not doing so great… I just am an emotional wreck and I know I should try to find someone to help me. I have, but at times they’re busy. This person has a life. I can’t be their top priority or worry for that matter. And ya I know try to find something that distracts you. I’ve tried. I’ve tried drawing, reading, writing, singing, dancing etc and I have seem to come up empty handed. So I don’t really know now…
Physically? I can’t take any pain pills now. I don’t trust myself around them. So if I hurt myself I have to deal with it. Which is great on my part… NOT. I hurt my shoulder and now it’s in terrible pain and my hips are just terribly sore. So I honestly don’t know how I’m going to fix that… And apart from all of that pain I’m starting to get more and more headaches and less and less sleep. So I’m just a mess.
Welp here’s your poem:
im a burden
i should leave
i dont want to leave
but i just am a mistake
im a clumsy mistake
maybe you dont want me to go
i dont know
but am i a burden?
and if im not
what am i?
Au Demain 😛
5 comments
C’mon now, a new semester is like a new start! It’s very exciting.
When I was a kid, I used to note how other people behaved and how I wanted to act the next school year. I wouldn’t call it “pretending to be someone I’m not”, rather “I’m practicing better traits so I can be a better person naturally and happier with myself”.
You should make the most of the people around you and enjoy their company. Don’t worry about the bully too much.. I don’t know what he/she does, but ignore it – it’s not worth letting him/her get to you. If you really want to, you could probably ask your teacher to move your desk.. but it’s probably better to ask for an entire seating plan change or wait until your teacher decides to have one so you don’t get singled out.
As for sharing your “burden” with others, I’d say it’s more important to look for friends first.. preferably ones you enjoy being around enough that you forget your problems. In time you may find yourself able to open up to them.. but it’s kind of “in your face” if you meet a person and suddenly start telling them your troubles.. you give it time and wait for a moment which feels “natural”.
Also, from my experience, the best friends a person can have are ones who:
a) you can have fun with
b) you can forget everything else when you’re with them
c) tease and make fun of you.. after all you need to learn to laugh at yourself!
These are the people who can say things to you that other people can’t because you know that at the end of the day, they genuinely like you.
Hey LetitGo, how are you doing today?
I agree with ^^^ this person. Try to make the best or a new situation. You have a new chnace at something. But if your bully becomes a problem, talk to the teacher and we if you can witch seats. Or you can do what I did learn to do, which is make friends with the enemy. Talk to them, when try making fun of you who them you could care less. It makes them look like a jackass that your not even affected by what they say and inevitably they start to move on from you because they cannot get any gratification from bullying you.
But on a side note congratulations on the honors class.
I honestly feel bad that your deciding to put yourself through physical pain because you do not trust yourself. I would tell you please take something to alleviate the pain but then again I wouldnt want to put you a in situation where you might hurt yourself more. So try a cold pack or warm bottle yeah?
Oh yeah don’t believe you are a burden to anyone. You are not. If you were a burden to people I wouldn’t have subscribed to read your post everyday. Think about it, I have commented and tried helping you on every post except like one. Think about it, we are at day ten, that’s ten days that I have been trying to help you even if you don’t see it, I am trying. LetitGo, people do care about you.
I do have friends like that, but I’m so dependent on them. If I don’t have someone. someone to talk to I’m lost. I know it’s clingy and annoying, but I’m just so alone for so much time… And yeah I try to ignore him. I really do. But it’s so hard not to think he’s right. He hasn’t bullied me in a while which is good 😀 but I don’t know when its going to start back up again…
I’m doing fine. I got a full 6? 7? I’m not sure… But I got some sleep. More than usual last night :D. So that’s awesome. I didn’t want to get up today though… My bed was so warm and comfy. Welp I guess I did. hehe. I am trying to make it the best, but they’re people in my school. Bad people and I’m just so afraid… I guess I could try an ice pack… I’m not sure… I just… I don’t think people have EVER showed that they cared… Ya know? I’m not the type of person to go to someone when I’m in need. If they’re feeling down and I’m feeling down. I’ll help them first. Then I’ll let them go to sleep or do whatever they were doing and then I’ll fix myself up, but sometimes my depression gets so bad I can’t do that… So not really sure what I’m going to do… *sigh*
Hey LetitGo, lol lucky I wish I can get 6 to 7 hours of sleep 🙂
But don’t feel like your clingy and annoying, it just means your a very sociable person and you love the company of your mates. As for your bully, understand and know he is nowhere right about what he calls or says about you. He is only going to try and bring you down because he is very insecure, immature, is either jealous, or just a pathetic and lonely human being who needs to torment anyone so he can feel better. (Misery loves company). So remember your better than him, if not then he wouldn’t be called a Bully. But try not to worry about the “if’s”. He may try bully or not but that doesn’t mean your world need to stop for this kid. If he does and it really affects you contact a teacher or principal and report him, remember your doing him a favor by getting him in trouble because one day if he doesn’t stop harassing when he is young, it means he is going to jail when older.
I understand you want to help people and put them in front of your needs. Trust me that is not bad and that is an amazing characteristic to have. But sometimes we need a little time to help ourselves. Don’t be afraid to go to someone for help. People do care. You may think I am wrong, but there are people.