I am lost and scared and I’m no where near fixed but I am not dead.
I still think about suicide often and I remained un-medicated until a few moments ago when I popped the first pill to happy (doxepin).
I am getting therapy. Every once in a while it will give me something useful but not often. I don’t think I’ll be sticking with it in the long run. Maybe once every few months.
I may be unable to sleep due to apnea or even my sinus being closed off because of a random act of violence back in 07′. Apparently sleep deprivation is a bad thing…
I don’t plan on leaving this site. I hope I can be a story of hope and help others find happiness and hope or at least solace and guidance in their decisions. However, I’m quite distracted at the moment as there are many life changes ahead.
I’m also not very good at using this site… as far as I can tell I have to remember everyone’s names and stalk their posts in an awkward fashion. Any pointers would be welcome so I can get to know you better and follow your stuff.
Don’t feel alone, the sufferers are all around you and they all smile convincingly so that you’ll never find them out.
2 comments
I remember reading one of your posts some while ago (just checked, it was your first post), went back and re-read it and i’m glad you are fine, hopefully things will look up for you.
I actually agree with many things that you wrote on that post, but i was left with a sense of “he should try longer, he’s still very young” and i can’t remember why i didn’t reply back then. I’d have to say my life started being good at your age, that’s why i believed that (even if it went to hell eventually but that’s another story). Glad you are still here and willing to give it another chance 🙂
As for pointers, i’m afraid you just have to lurk around the site… you can check the posts someone has made by clicking his/her username and that’s all i can think off haha
Thanks keief.
I hope life starts getting good… it’s really up to my brain to decide that on it’s own.
Lurk I will!