this depression i cant get over. im almost 23 years old n life isnt life anymore. 10 years of this bullshit. numerous attempted suicides. july 5, 2012 i thought was it for me. i had taken 60+ pills. i just didnt care anymore. at one point i had it all. a job, school, living in my own apartment. today im jobless, living at home with my parents who could care less about my problems, and a single parent. that day i woke up and had completely given up on life. i remember the paramedics trying to talk to me. i was to drugged up for any words to come out. next thing i remember is throwing up all over the ambulance. i dont know how i got to the hospital but i spent two days there and the next 8 in lakeside behavorial mental hospital. that was the only time of my life that i felt normal. idk why im still alive. lately those feelings have been coming back very strong. i have no friends, all of my relationships are volatile because my bipolar disorder gets the best of me. i have no job, no one to run to. no shoulder to cry on. im losing my mind. i dont want to live anymore. obviously the meds i have been taking the last 7 months dont work. ive ben fakingy smile and my happiness.
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What about your child? If you die what do you think will become of them? What kind of life do you think they will live? You can say she will be take care of by someone else but do you honestly believe that? Is that justification to leave them alone?
If the hospital made you felt normal maybe you should go back and spend a bit more time there. It would be beneficial and you can get the help you need.
I do not want to appear rude or offensive becuase im not. I just think people with children have a duty and responsibility to their children. If you were to commit suicide the probability of your child living a very lonely life in similar to your very own will be great. Learn to live life for your child. Let your child be the light so you can pull yourself and make a better life for the both of you. In turn, you will be an ispiration to them qhen they grow up and understand the hardships you endured and overcame.
Take the time to heal and get better.
I wish you the best. Take care.
Part of your answer is personal upkeep with your healthcare. Regular therapy and meds regulation obviously helped then. Try an art class. Those are good too.
When you have problems like I do nothing else matters. U don’t c any other way out but suicide.granted I’m well aware that my child will be given to my parents. She won’t be without. N I’m pretty sire she’s going to grow up just as fucked up as I am. Its genetics. @ heartcore I actually went to an art school. Had a little over a year before I would’ve had a bachelors in fashion in business management. I still take my meds, I see my doctors on a regular basis. My life sucks right now and the feeling of wanting to die overwhelms any other feeling.
I have not been on this site in forever. Completely forgot about it until i searched perfect suicide and found the site again. Took about two days to finally be able to log in. To think that was me two years ago n here I am today feeling the same again. Granted im not jobless, but I know the signs of my constant struggle. I know soon Im going to quit n give up. Saw my therapist Friday and told her everything that is going on, streesed and depressed. I dont know if I want to die, suicide is always on my mind and has always been on my mind. I know I want to get away, far far away. My household is INSANE!!! I have been through two therapist.and two different psych docs, and they all tell me I need to get out of my parents house, which is easier said than done when u only make 9.50 an hr and are a single parent trying to get out of debt. Yes me and my child were once on our own, and maybe 3 mnths in, my meds just decided they weren’t going to make me happy anymore. And there goes the cycle all over again. That was Sep. 2014 when I moved out by Dec. 2014 I was back at my parents, the one place everyone tells me I need to get away from. Needless to say I have been there ever since. And since then I have had one trip to the loony bin, went from job to job, and am currently still at the second one. Which I am actually proud of myself because it will be a year in march that I have been there. I have switched meds. maybe two or thrwe times since. I am just sick of the constant cycle. At my therapy session Friday, I told her I am anticipating my meds to stop working any day now, and for all hell to break loose. Which is true, I have gone through this way too many times to know when it is coming. I know Im depressed right now, I know suicide is on my mind, what Im not sure of is whether or not my meds have anything to do with this. I just want to get away from everyrhing and everyone. I just want a vacay, child free, job free, family free, problem free……I cant even think alone let alone sleep alone.