We always desire the most that which is beyond us. As soon as it becomes attainable we begin to lose interest. If the things we want aren’t what we really want then what is the key to fulfilment?
^
I was trying to interpret the post. I could be wrong. It’s likely I’ve interpreted the post wrong. I get things wrong more than right which is not hard to imagine.
All living things work toward unobtainable targets. There always has to be something else. The people who are content once they’ve achieved all their targets were happy to begin with. They would have been just as happy without success. Retirement would be a killer for someone like me because I’ve got nothing else.
Well i mean, i understand the notion of wanting what we can’t have, and admit that it’s often at least somewhat applicable… but i’ve seen lots of people oversimplify it into attributing all desires to “wanting what you can’t have,” and then trivializing the issue, while disregarding the fact that i COULD have, and appreciate, almost all of what i actually want, and that none of what i want is only wanted because it’s unavailable. Weed and *****, for example, i will always want. It’s impossible for me to get tired of either of those things, though in highly favorable circumstances, i could see overdoing it and needing a relatively brief refrain. But there will never come a time when i will think i’ve had enough of those things, that i simply won’t attempt to enjoy them again (potential health issues notwithstanding… which is part of why it’s so important to get as much of those as possible, while you can…). Do i want them MORE when i can’t access them? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean the desire will end once i attain reliable access to those things (hypothetically speaking, of course, since it’s pretty obvious i will never have reliable access to vagina). It would just mean that desire wouldn’t dominate my life and thoughts as they do in the absence of those things, and i would then have “room” for other potentially worthwhile endeavors. In fact, i would contrast it to say that without access to what i want, nothing is interesting or worthwhile, because nothing else will satisfy the desire for that which has been eliminated from the realm of possibilities.
It doesn’t have to be illegal to be interesting or appealing. At least, not to me.
Impulsive behaviour is different. It’s impulsive to think about sex every 5 minutes. You don’t have a choice. You’re never going to get bored of stimulants like drugs because that’s what they are there for. Life goals like having getting married, having kids, owning your own home, going to school etc are different than that. You’re not compelled to have them but some people feel they should.
But for me, sex and weed are “forbidden,” because one is “criminal,” while the other relies entirely upon the permission of another person… or is instead, also illegal.
If i had permission for both, i would still want them.
I would love to own my own home, but there’s no way that’s ever happening, because i can’t make enough money. I’m… not sure about the kids part, i think i used to want kids, it would be cool to pass on my genes, but this world sucks and there’s no way i’d ever be financially stable enough to justify creating an offspring. The only reason to go to school, is to learn something that will get me paid well enough to do the aforementioned (can’t afford that either). I can learn it myself if it’s not for the purpose of employment and requires some certificate or official document.
So it amounts to: i could do whatever i want, except that what i want is not available to me, and i don’t really want anything else enough to achieve it. Picking other stuff to try to force myself to want something else, doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried. It always comes back to “you know what, this is too hard, too much hassle for something that isn’t going to satisfy me, because it isn’t really what i want.”
So aside from the typical things that most living beings naturally want (sex, food, high), i guess i don’t /really/ want, anything. Everything else is pretty much irrelevant, and if i can’t even achieve the basic needs, nothing else is going to feel worthwhile. And why can’t i achieve those basic needs? Other people’s choices, which are based on what/how/why they think, which is based on what/how/why/who they’re taught… which is almost always based on some elitist agenda, meant to control the populous.
There are exceptions to everything and each individual is different.
When a person doesn’t want or enjoy anything, what’s the alternative? Suicide? I have to continue with my facade. If I don’t, I’m in trouble. I must occupy my time and mind.
There are things i would enjoy, which actually exist, which could be experienced… but in pursuing those things, there is a high risk of unjust consequences, imposed by an illegitimate “judicial” construct, and their thug-like enforcers (who don’t seem to care much that they accept payment in return for enforcing injustice upon innocent people…).
So, it’s:
A) suicide
B) outlaw life
C) persistently unbearable, submissive life, which is more “comfortable” than option B, and lasts longer than option A.
In other words: live to complain. I’ll certainly get tired of THAT, eventually. Actually, i’ve grown weary of that many times… but it’s one the few things i can access, for which the motivation to do so, is somehow reliably replenished.
I’ve blown a fuse somewhere in my brain. I have to behave like an adrenalin junkie just to feel anything. That’s why I’m on the edge all the time. But when you’re like that it’s an empty existence because most of the time you don’t feel anything. I’ve always had problems but I was alright before. It’s only in the past 2-3 years when it got worse because of the drugs.
i was coming home from college in bus. luckily i got a window seat. so i was again all surrounded by boring questions about life and stupidity. then i fell asleep. after an hour or so, when i woke up due to a jerk, i realized something. my state was different. i was different. the fucked up confused state that was before sleep was not there. what was there… was innocence. i looked around confused with ignorant, innocent eyes, like a child (which commonly happens when one suddenly wakes up). then i recalled my previous state that was before sleep and tried to understand the difference.
“Choosing wrong over right, you overlook the heart” – Buddha
“Laws are alive” – Jesus
What is heart? i certainly might be wrong, but i will say how i interpret it. heart is, you can say, something instinctive. not ruined by knowledge or doubt. something innocent. one “feels” its there, all the time.
the Laws Jesus is talking about must be the laws of fulfillment. “Laws are alive”, what a wonderful statement. heart is alive too. the “key to fulfillment” must be something alive. something that you feel moment to moment, something that’s changing moment to moment.
can one live through his heart instead of mind? that’s the question. i don’t believe in choosing. maybe i am waiting for something to happen to me that will eliminate or burn my innate desire to use mind. i can do that out of my trust in Buddha, but that’s what i tried in the past, didn’t i? it seems if i want fulfillment, i also want suffering. something in me wants to be animalistic, beasty, lazy, stubborn and all that. i want to go up, but i also want to go down. i have no idea why. but that’s the problem with all of us, isn’t it? its all probably put under the term “evil” in west i guess. i have gotten invested in the world. a part of me wants to hate them, wants to punish them. i’ve always considered IT my evil. i cannot live with them without getting invested with them. my effort is, or atleast was, to interact without involving. if i am able to do that, then my trust in Buddha will be sufficient to make me follow spiritual methods with all heart and take me upwards.
well that was my theoretical part. i saw your comment in night, then this bus experience happened in day and i thought about your question of “key to fulfillment” in those moments which lead to these thoughts which now i am trying to formulate in words.
about the post, yes i think you interpreted it wrong. but i also wrote it wrong. the two statements aren’t really connected. the second statement should be: “nothing seems to be worth doing anymore”, but then i thought of making it look similar to upper one and changed ‘seems’ with ‘is’ which i think certainly changed core meaning in some ways.
by “forbidden” i mean it in psychological sense. i no longer feel averted by many a things i earlier used to. i no longer feel “guilt” over a lot of things. i no longer run away from darkness. the idea of “wasting life” doesn’t make me tremble anymore.
but i think the two statements may still actually be connected in the way you said, although i didn’t intend them to be.
11 comments
We always desire the most that which is beyond us. As soon as it becomes attainable we begin to lose interest. If the things we want aren’t what we really want then what is the key to fulfilment?
I disagree. I want what i want, and only some of it is “forbidden,” and i would want it even if it wasn’t forbidden.
Maybe i’m just atypical.
^
I was trying to interpret the post. I could be wrong. It’s likely I’ve interpreted the post wrong. I get things wrong more than right which is not hard to imagine.
All living things work toward unobtainable targets. There always has to be something else. The people who are content once they’ve achieved all their targets were happy to begin with. They would have been just as happy without success. Retirement would be a killer for someone like me because I’ve got nothing else.
Well i mean, i understand the notion of wanting what we can’t have, and admit that it’s often at least somewhat applicable… but i’ve seen lots of people oversimplify it into attributing all desires to “wanting what you can’t have,” and then trivializing the issue, while disregarding the fact that i COULD have, and appreciate, almost all of what i actually want, and that none of what i want is only wanted because it’s unavailable. Weed and *****, for example, i will always want. It’s impossible for me to get tired of either of those things, though in highly favorable circumstances, i could see overdoing it and needing a relatively brief refrain. But there will never come a time when i will think i’ve had enough of those things, that i simply won’t attempt to enjoy them again (potential health issues notwithstanding… which is part of why it’s so important to get as much of those as possible, while you can…). Do i want them MORE when i can’t access them? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean the desire will end once i attain reliable access to those things (hypothetically speaking, of course, since it’s pretty obvious i will never have reliable access to vagina). It would just mean that desire wouldn’t dominate my life and thoughts as they do in the absence of those things, and i would then have “room” for other potentially worthwhile endeavors. In fact, i would contrast it to say that without access to what i want, nothing is interesting or worthwhile, because nothing else will satisfy the desire for that which has been eliminated from the realm of possibilities.
It doesn’t have to be illegal to be interesting or appealing. At least, not to me.
Impulsive behaviour is different. It’s impulsive to think about sex every 5 minutes. You don’t have a choice. You’re never going to get bored of stimulants like drugs because that’s what they are there for. Life goals like having getting married, having kids, owning your own home, going to school etc are different than that. You’re not compelled to have them but some people feel they should.
But for me, sex and weed are “forbidden,” because one is “criminal,” while the other relies entirely upon the permission of another person… or is instead, also illegal.
If i had permission for both, i would still want them.
I would love to own my own home, but there’s no way that’s ever happening, because i can’t make enough money. I’m… not sure about the kids part, i think i used to want kids, it would be cool to pass on my genes, but this world sucks and there’s no way i’d ever be financially stable enough to justify creating an offspring. The only reason to go to school, is to learn something that will get me paid well enough to do the aforementioned (can’t afford that either). I can learn it myself if it’s not for the purpose of employment and requires some certificate or official document.
So it amounts to: i could do whatever i want, except that what i want is not available to me, and i don’t really want anything else enough to achieve it. Picking other stuff to try to force myself to want something else, doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried. It always comes back to “you know what, this is too hard, too much hassle for something that isn’t going to satisfy me, because it isn’t really what i want.”
So aside from the typical things that most living beings naturally want (sex, food, high), i guess i don’t /really/ want, anything. Everything else is pretty much irrelevant, and if i can’t even achieve the basic needs, nothing else is going to feel worthwhile. And why can’t i achieve those basic needs? Other people’s choices, which are based on what/how/why they think, which is based on what/how/why/who they’re taught… which is almost always based on some elitist agenda, meant to control the populous.
You could say “The Man” got me down.
There are exceptions to everything and each individual is different.
When a person doesn’t want or enjoy anything, what’s the alternative? Suicide? I have to continue with my facade. If I don’t, I’m in trouble. I must occupy my time and mind.
There are things i would enjoy, which actually exist, which could be experienced… but in pursuing those things, there is a high risk of unjust consequences, imposed by an illegitimate “judicial” construct, and their thug-like enforcers (who don’t seem to care much that they accept payment in return for enforcing injustice upon innocent people…).
So, it’s:
A) suicide
B) outlaw life
C) persistently unbearable, submissive life, which is more “comfortable” than option B, and lasts longer than option A.
In other words: live to complain. I’ll certainly get tired of THAT, eventually. Actually, i’ve grown weary of that many times… but it’s one the few things i can access, for which the motivation to do so, is somehow reliably replenished.
I’ve blown a fuse somewhere in my brain. I have to behave like an adrenalin junkie just to feel anything. That’s why I’m on the edge all the time. But when you’re like that it’s an empty existence because most of the time you don’t feel anything. I’ve always had problems but I was alright before. It’s only in the past 2-3 years when it got worse because of the drugs.
what is the key to fulfillment?
i was coming home from college in bus. luckily i got a window seat. so i was again all surrounded by boring questions about life and stupidity. then i fell asleep. after an hour or so, when i woke up due to a jerk, i realized something. my state was different. i was different. the fucked up confused state that was before sleep was not there. what was there… was innocence. i looked around confused with ignorant, innocent eyes, like a child (which commonly happens when one suddenly wakes up). then i recalled my previous state that was before sleep and tried to understand the difference.
“Choosing wrong over right, you overlook the heart” – Buddha
“Laws are alive” – Jesus
What is heart? i certainly might be wrong, but i will say how i interpret it. heart is, you can say, something instinctive. not ruined by knowledge or doubt. something innocent. one “feels” its there, all the time.
the Laws Jesus is talking about must be the laws of fulfillment. “Laws are alive”, what a wonderful statement. heart is alive too. the “key to fulfillment” must be something alive. something that you feel moment to moment, something that’s changing moment to moment.
can one live through his heart instead of mind? that’s the question. i don’t believe in choosing. maybe i am waiting for something to happen to me that will eliminate or burn my innate desire to use mind. i can do that out of my trust in Buddha, but that’s what i tried in the past, didn’t i? it seems if i want fulfillment, i also want suffering. something in me wants to be animalistic, beasty, lazy, stubborn and all that. i want to go up, but i also want to go down. i have no idea why. but that’s the problem with all of us, isn’t it? its all probably put under the term “evil” in west i guess. i have gotten invested in the world. a part of me wants to hate them, wants to punish them. i’ve always considered IT my evil. i cannot live with them without getting invested with them. my effort is, or atleast was, to interact without involving. if i am able to do that, then my trust in Buddha will be sufficient to make me follow spiritual methods with all heart and take me upwards.
well that was my theoretical part. i saw your comment in night, then this bus experience happened in day and i thought about your question of “key to fulfillment” in those moments which lead to these thoughts which now i am trying to formulate in words.
about the post, yes i think you interpreted it wrong. but i also wrote it wrong. the two statements aren’t really connected. the second statement should be: “nothing seems to be worth doing anymore”, but then i thought of making it look similar to upper one and changed ‘seems’ with ‘is’ which i think certainly changed core meaning in some ways.
by “forbidden” i mean it in psychological sense. i no longer feel averted by many a things i earlier used to. i no longer feel “guilt” over a lot of things. i no longer run away from darkness. the idea of “wasting life” doesn’t make me tremble anymore.
but i think the two statements may still actually be connected in the way you said, although i didn’t intend them to be.