I don’t post very much, but I read everything, every day. I’ve seen some pretty insane stories here. Rape victims. Divorces gone terribly awry. Abusive parents, siblings, or other family members. People who lost everything. The list goes on and on; the list of, for lack of a better name, “typically depressed” people.
It’s incredible to me how the “typically depressed” crowd (and I say that with extreme respect) can be so strong. Lots of people have bounced back from these insane ordeals better than they were before. Sure, they’re depressed for awhile, but they “get over it,” as most people say.
I’ve had none of these things happen to me. I haven’t been raped, I’ve not experienced terrible tragedies, etc. So the question I ask is, “why me?” To clarify, I mean that in a curious way, not some sort of exclamation of despair. I mean, I grew up pretty well, I was in the marching band, I did (pretty well) in high school, college is…college. As I said, I haven’t experienced “real” tragedies, so why the hell am I so depressed? I feel like I don’t deserve this, and again, I mean that as a sort of homage to the people who have experienced troublesome ordeals. I have it pretty fucking good, compared to most people, and yet I feel all depressed. It makes no goddamn sense. And I feel kind of dirty because of it. That’s probably retarded to feel like that, but eh. Full disclosure, as it were.
6 comments
existential depression, perhaps?
Many of us can sometimes feel the same way. I know I don’t have it as bad as others neither. You have to realize everyone has problems in life. Doesn’t matter how bad yours are compared to others because you were never destined to experience their problems and they were never destined to experience yours. Your own depression is your own challenge to overcome with and/or without help. This is one of your destined challenges as you now know it.
You can also compare this to a physical illness, disease, etc(whatever you wanna call them)…… For example my brother has asthma and I don’t but I have really bad migraines everyday and he doesn’t. They’re 2 different defects. But they both suck.
I would say bud, yours is more of a Chemical inbalance, rather than lifetime events. There is nothing really wrong with that, it just sucks, I guess. Medication may help.
all it takes is the realization that your conditions are such that you cannot reasonably expect to attain your goals, or even that none of your goals are really worth much, in the end.
If you figure out that you can’t access anything that makes you happy, or anything that really makes you feel good, then you’re going to end up depressed, sooner or later… even if nothing “terribly tragic” ever happens.
The most tragic thing around, is never having truly lived (especially in the “even though nothing terrible ever happened” sense), and having no one with whom to share your journey.
I agree with the statement above that it’s probably a chemical imbalance. I read some stories on here where people have seemingly good lives. Their circumstances are pretty good. Their finances are good and so are their relationships and they can’t figure out why they’re so depressed. When I read that I always say to myself “You have to have a chemical imbalance.” What else could it be if your outer life is going well?
I have some long term standing key issues that aren’t working out in my life and I also have a chemical imbalance. When I keep from drinking alcohol, take some vitamins and eat fairly healthy I’m in a pretty good mental state. When I drink a ton of alcohol and get no sleep my chemical imbalance kicks in and I become extremely depressed/ suicidal. I have anti depressants prescribed to me but I don’t take them because I can’t trust myself not to drink and my doctor told me if I drink with this medication it can cause seizures and kill me.
I haven’t drank in two weeks now because the last episode sent me over the edge so I’m going to start taking these anti depressants. I suggest you get some medication and try it to see if it will help because it sounds like that’s what you need.