Sometimes, there are times in your life where you can’t help but have to say goodbye. Not because you want, or that you necessarily need to. It’s just one of those unspoken things where if the person you’ve met isn’t suppose to be in your path, you need to say goodbye. But the thing with goodbyes… they aren’t forever. They’re a simple reminder that sometime soon, I plan on seeing you again. Whether it be in my dreams or at a different moment, I’ll see you.
To my father:
I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. I love you.
To my mother:
I’m sorry I couldn’t your get acceptance.
To my sisters:
You are absolutely strong. Great mothers to your children. One day you will all make the man who chooses you very happy.
To my brother:
My closest friend. My confidante. The bond between us is something that can’t be broken. I will miss you brother.
To my daughter:
I love you. I wish more than anything that has ever been or ever will be how much you mean to me. You are my miracle. A promise to you that I would never stop being here for you. One […]
so I’ve recently heard the piece of advice from lots of people- on here and in real life- to remember that parents are only human. I appreciate the advice and yes, I do in fact realize that my parents are also prone to mistakes.
but I know when people mean what they say. my mother is a lawyer for a living. obviously this does not mean that she says the right thing all the time, or that she doesn’t have outbursts of things she doesn’t really mean. but she literally reads contracts to make sure people say what they mean so that they can be legally […]
so I don’t know but I think I’m going insane.
I can’t sleep well at night; I have terrors and wake up tired.
And today I got and F on my test; which is so so weird because I studied hard and when I took it I felt really good about it. I thought I aced it.
And on top of that my ex is sending me horrible emails. ( I’ve been not responding because I just don’t want him in my life). He’s saying horrible mean things to me. Which is really random and just plain mean. Idk why he’s doing that.
I don’t […]
Does anyone know? I didn’t think they were inappropriate and they weren’t mean or anything. It just kind of bums me out since I take time and put thought into my replies and they keep going straight to trash.
(In case sportsnut doesn’t realy. This is a timed post and will post automatically on its own.)
Good bye sportsnut.
I love you,
Hazy day sunflower,
Notinterestedinlife (pretty pandarian princess),
I’m not meant to be, so good bye. Do what you all do best. What ever it be. Don’t worry, I wont be around. Stay strong, even if that doesn’t mean a thing.
Please pass this on.
From the finger tips of Beau.
(Could you copy and past every thing above these parentheses and post it […]
You say we have it easier
But that’s a lie.
You hid in fear.
We say, “So do I.”
The words written.
It all cuts deep.
Terrible things we begin to believe.
We don’t mean to cause a fuss.
You just don’t understand.
We didn’t need anyone to hit us.
We had the hands.
Quit letting us down.
You’re blinded by your past.
Things are different now.
Your time has passed.
The scars you see.
No confidence to gain.
We pray to be free.You had it bad
But we do, too.
Please don’t be mad.
We’re just screaming the truth.
Anxiety? Social, specifically. I do – mine is so bad that I’m totally non-functional in life. I can’t do what other people do without extreme anxiety. I don’t see this getting better, at least not without a heroic effort (which I don’t have in me anymore, and anyway, I’d have to spread my heroic effort energies among lots of other problems which would mean none would truly be solved.) So, anyone…?
Ever want to walk past one of your co workers and just slap them in the back of the head as you go by???? I do I do!!! I cant stand that little sweet voice, hiding an evil mean person, that people don’t see past, because she is little and cute. All I ever hear is her talking crap about everyone. And for some reason she now thinks she is my boss even though I have been there 3 years longer. Driving me nuts
Physically trapped, I mean. In many ways I still feel trapped, but I digress.
I took time out of work for my urethritis pain. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I told my higher up everything, from chlamydia back in the start of 2014, to now just having this pain. She was very understanding, and suggested I go to Doctors Express. I did.
From there, I again told this doctor everything, but perhaps unsurprisingly she wasnt being all that helpful. Id pee in a cup again, I’d hear Im all clear, I know the drill. I began feeling frusterated, disparaging my eurologists office, and how it’s so […]
Just feeling like nobody cares. Because why would they? What does caring for someone even mean? Why would you waste your time caring for someone you know is a ticking bomb? Is it so that they won’t be one? Why would any of you care about helping me? Why would any of you care about me? You don’t know me. Do we ever actually care about someone we don’t know? We might? But do we? So what if I don’t know myself. Do I care?
More and more these days I’m overwhelmed by just an omnipresent sadness that coats everything. Even my stock answers to “how are you doing?” can’t even mask my intense sadness as people realize I really mean the opposite of what I’m saying. Most times during the day I’ll just find myself uncontrollably tearing up. I’m not upset or distraught, more just a resigned moroseness that in itself is defeatist and depressing.
Even my daughter comes and hugs me several times a day just to remind me how much she loves me because she can sense my complete lack of joy.
I don’t know how much longer I […]
So, theory today says one looks for what one needs. If you are eating a lot of sweets is because you need to treat yourself in a sweeter way. If you are looking for spicy things are you looking for something exciting?
What are you looking for and what would it mean?
(Wanting to die, like wanting a real rest? Wanting a total change?)
Let’s try and talk about little things…?
I’ve always had an addictive personality. I’ve fought addiction to various drugs, alcohol, things that most people wouldn’t consider addictive like green tea, or Gatorade. Basically I can create a habit anywhere, with anything.
My most recent addiction, false hopes. Now I don’t mean being overly optimistic. I mean, hanging on to an idea that has less than 0.01% chance of happening. It’s what has kept me going lately. The downside, every time reality rears its ugly head, it’s soul crushing.
Maybe I’m delusional?
I have had mood swings and periods of depression sine I was 16. I am now 52 and until last year had never really thought about ending my life although I have often wished I just didn’t have to wake up.
I thought being married to my ex was bad but the last 5 years have had at least one piece of crap and trauma every year and although I have picked up the bits every time it has just worn me out.
Strangely it is the small things people do and say not the big things. Last year I decide the option of ending my life was […]
It seems like nearly every day I stop and think about my life and how much it really doesn’t mean to me and each time I think about it, it appears to have less worth to me than the previous time
It’s so hard on me. It really is. I don’t even know how to feel. It’s like everything is a lie.
The guy I mentioned on my last post has been the cause of my problems. It’s all because I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.
Monday night I was feeling so down about my mom and him and just everything (Tuesday was my mom’s death anniversary) and so I texted him. I said “My mom died 7 years ago. You would understand right?”
His exact words were “Ugh I’m sorry I’m not trying to be mean but can you please stop texting me”.
The only […]
Everytime my friends call or try and talk to me I feel like I’m being awkward. I feel like that triggers my friends to jump on the friendship train with my sister more than me. That’s why they seem bored around me. How can I get rid of this awkwardness and freely talk and be funny without being offensive or mean..? I’m so troubled with this, I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m the only one who does this, to new friends or the same friends I have. I feel like there is something wrong with me..
In my dental assisting class my teacher is the worst person I have met .
When I get a answer wrong she tells me to hang my self . I have gotten so angry and have gotten a attitude with her . She’s dropped my grade so much .
What she says to me is so unprofessional . I want to be like you know my mom killed her self with a bottle of pills ? And do you know I’m suicidal ?
Allvthe girls in the class are mean to me too. They say things like how I look like a heroin addict .
That class just pisses […]
An integral part of ‘ building your exoskeleton’ is letting go of all the hurt, pain and sorrow. Letting go doesn’t necessarily mean that you vow to forget the past,because doing such things.may result in the repetition of similar scenarios. The letting go to which I now refer to is the instance of no longer allowing past transgressions to weigh you down. In essence, an individual needs to accept and positively use past horrors as a building block to your new and improved self.
For decades, modern medicine has intentionally introduce strains of ailments to individuals, to allow for the creation of an […]