hello everyone
so i am only 14 years old, in the 9th grade
my anxiety, depression and depersonalization disorder is getting out of hand; mother took me out of public school so i can get home schooled.
the problem is, is that we haven’t gotten anything down. we can’t find any of the right websites to help, and we’re both a little lost. my mother and father found it like we HAD to get me out of public school because how it reacts on my anxiety, depression and D.D. which i do not regret, public school was hell but my mental health has not changed one bit.
i feel terrible.
does this mean i am a drop out? i’ve only been out of school for 4 days. i’m freaking out. i think my life is ruined.
on the side note, i’m seeing things that aren’t really here. i keep hearing things, too.
i was watching Dexters Laboratory with my brother and sister, and all of  a sudden i could have SWORN someone walked behind me. I could here the breathing, but my brother and sister were right next to me, my parents both gone at the store. & last night i was near my window, drawing while listening to music. (if curious, I was listening to Bo En.. Not sure if it matters or not) but anyways, i heard breathing/growl right near my ear. (i know it sounds ridiculous when i say growl, as if i’m talking about a monster or such, but it scared me so much i jumped off of the couch, fell, and had a full on panic attack.) a couple hours ago, i thought i saw a grown man walking across my guest room. (you can see it  from our living room) and i started freaking out. there’s much more experience, but i don’t think anyone cares. (there was a point i was playing Flappy Bird on my phone- I know, stupid game but i still play it.-  and i thought someone was behind me, and i whispered to myself: “i know you don’t exist just leave me alone” )
everything feels so fake, and i’m too scared to do anything. i’m all alone and no one seems to care. i want to die. i want to kill myself. i’ve been thinking about it so much. i want all the thoughts and everything just to leave!!!!
12 comments
I’m so sorry that must be terrifying 🙁 *HUG*
sounds like your house is haunted.
lol WIG
what does WIG mean? sorry.
I experienced an depersonalization episode (while in college… I collected a lot of stress while there )… anyway, I was walking up a hill and I thought I was looking at a painting or photo or I was dreaming. It was strange feeling because I felt like something inside was separating for my body… like my soul… my mind… something I did feel real nor the surroundings. It lasted for two hours and had to call my father to make certain I was not lapsing into something worst… I have not had it since but I still fighting depression.
*Warm embrace*
I experience depression overall as background noise but every five to seven day I experience a severe bout that last for two to three days.
How often and long does this go on?
I’ve been seeing and hearing things too lately, it’s scary as hell. But knowing that it’s not real does help. I might be older than you, but I understand where you’re coming from.
I’ve had the same happen to me with the strange sightings and stuff
I’ve just learned to live with it and tell the voices and things I see to piss off
WIG is Mr.BaDGuY
I think…
Online sites:
http://www.k12.com/
http://ohs.stanford.edu/
Those are just a start. You have to be REALLY motivated and willing to just knock the work out of the park to home school. Without the noise of teenage crap at school, its doable. This doesn’t make you a dropout. Its just a different type of education.
I don’t know anything about depersonalization. Sounds challenging.
okay?
Are YOU OK?