He’s the asshole. I stick around after all he did to me because I care about people, way more than I should. I get a message that he’s afraid he’d hurt himself, and I freak out and unblock all means of communication so he can talk to me because I kept thinking he was DEAD, and then I hear he’s all ok, just fell asleep and didn’t message back because he decided to play his damn computer games. I say one fucking thing wrong, ONE, and he goes batshit crazy, calls me all sorts of names (that I know are already true) and then says he’s sorry when I tell him to leave me alone and that i’m going to block him as soon as I can. then attacks me again when I don’t reply. Just once I’d like to go without fucking shit up. just one day. that’s all I ask. one day without being the worlds biggest ****/*****/dick/dipshit on the face of the earth.
ok, rant over
now all i want to do is cut. to see the blood, to prove to myself that im human. but i cant. i cant start again. i cant give in. i have to sit here, and not move until its time for work, then i’ll get dressed and go. just have to keep telling myself that the cool sting wont help, that its not worth it. that I AM worth something…somewhere
6 comments
Don’t cut. You are worth something. if he wants to be an idiot, that’s his choice… You don’t need to let others’ bad choices wreak havoc on you. That ain’t cool.
What kind of mood is he in when he plays computer games?
a good one. because he can focus on the game when he’s in a good mood. never plays when upset
Too bad there isn’t any career opportunities for gamers. Have you ever dated a farmer or a bus driver?
This guy is obviously toxic for you. Stop worrying about him, you’re not his mommy after all, and you are NOT responsible for him or anything he might or might not do.
Plus, you have yourself to worry about.
I’d make sure he and his messages stays away from me if I were you.
@gillian:
“Toxic” is a good word for him. I was trying to think of the right word…
Toxic definitely works.