First Poem

Well I’ll be damned,

I’m still alive.

Still breathing,

Still thinking,

Still failing,

Still disappointing my family,

Still vaguely hinting few people I want to die.

Why?

Why can’t things be simple?

Why must everything I do become 200.0% more complex?

Why must I become the actor I never wanted to be,

The good kid at school you laugh with and smile,

The bad kid at home that can never be normal or happy,

The nerd that can help you with any homework or test,

The idiot that can’t do even the simpilest of tasks.

So I ask myself at the end of each day,

Wouldn’t it just be easy to leave,

In the long run, everyone would be better off without me.

Sure a tear will drop from the people I know,

But they will later on just wipe the tears and move on.

But when I even try to do something as simple as cutting myself,

Something pulls at my hand bearing the nail clipper.

The image of my friends pulls me back,

One that stands out among the rest,

She makes me smile,

She makes me laugh,

She makes me feel human, naturally.

They like me for who I am,

Unlike the hypocrites I livedd with for 15 years,

I wish I could talk to her,

But I cannot bring them with me.

I must travel to death alone,

Alone

Like I always am on Fridays nights.

Like I am when everyone is asleep at night.

One day I will succeed.

One day I will die.

One day I will be forgotten.

One day my ashes will be scattered into the unknown.

One day I will meet the brother I have never known.

One day I will be at peace.

I usually don’t write poems but I was feeling like crap last night so I wrote this.  Hopefully this doesn’t suck or accidentally copy anyone else’s work.