So hi, I’m 13. I know that probably sounds young but whatever. Â I’m depressed, I self harm, and am bulimic. I’m attempted to kill myself many times- always getting interrupted my psycho parents who are abusive. I only have one real friend and he is my boyfriend. I love him so much but I feel like he likes other girls… he’s depressed and self harms also. he helps me live. he gives me the courage to keep going. without him I would be gone. I just feel like he likes other girls now… and when I was going to commit a while ago all he said was “I can’t stop you”. like seriously?! I don’t even think he cares about me anymore. I just want to die. actually I don’t want to die, I just want all the f*ck*ng pain to stop. I can’t handle it anymore. it’s tearing me apart. please, someone help me.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
I might be wrong but the “I can’t stop you” sounds like he knows the pain you are going through because he is depressed too and understands self harm, not because he doesn’t care, as in “i can’t stop you because it’s your choice and i respect it”. Do you have real reasons to think he likes other girls? self esteem plays a big part in eating disorders so it might be just your mind playing tricks on you. You might consider looking for profesional help (if you haven’t already), since if your parents are really abusive and your bf also self harms… well, sounds like they can’t really be much of a help.
You know what they say about suspicious minds. I think you’d be better off without him and I have to congratulate you on saying you’d rather the pain to stop than to cease your existence altogether – well done. And kudos for being a fellow bulimic. It’s a nasty one, for sure. But I know you’ll get through it, no matter how many relapses and purges you may have.
In short: Ease up on this fella of your’s, as most of your pain seems to stem from him. Seek out a doctors advice on your bulimia. I did so some years ago and I’ve managed pretty well ever since. From here – look after yourself and don’t place too much emphasis on the pain. It’s just letting you know that you’re still alive. 🙂