I have competed come off all my medications. Wellbutrin, cipralex and seroquil. I was monitored by my dr as I need to know if I am feeling is way because it who I ultimately am or if the medications had any negative effects. I believe that medications awe necessary for extreme circumstance but let me tell you the withdrawals from these meds that are supposedly meant to help are hell. It took over a month to even start to feel a tad normal. I was shaky, dizzy, nauseous, I couldn’t control my body temp, I’d sweat one minute freeze the next. I had insomnia and if I did sleep I would have terrible nightmares. The kind that you can’t tell if you’re awake or asleep. My whole body was itchy and sore. My mood was so low and I felt so unstable. A sin that these meds can do such harm. I am off all meds now and unfortunately do not feel any better psychologically. Next step potentially ECT. Scary thought. But never taking meds again.
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I was on Effexor for a while and they gave me such vivid and violent dreams I often could recall all the details and began writing in a journal to document them. When I was admitted they took me off and for the whole evening I could feel and see these electric pulses going through my head. It was weird. I could barely stay awake. I’m glad it was for one night though. I can’t imagine going through what you did. Take it easy my friend.
I’ve never been too fond to meds due to the same thing, side effects are awful, and there is no way to know how they will affect you (and how the period of adjusting after taking them will be). One of my attempts (i’d say one of the worst ones) was actually triggered by the effect of the meds i was taking, so go figure.
As for ECT, good luck with that, i’ve been reading about it and considering it as well, and it seems to have a better success rate than meds, but some people claims it did nothing for them.
I don’t like the way I am now and ECT seems like the next logical step if I can’t control myself without meds. It is that I fear the reprocess ions. If I don’t feel well on meds I can stop it. But if I do this and it changes me to a point where I hate myself even more I don’t know what I will do. It’s such a big step. So I sit here thinking do I try or do I just give up without trying. The unknown is so hard to comprehend and make a decision on.