When i was 12. I tied a extension chord around my neck and when i sat down and let my self go. Everything slowly went fuzzy… My group home staff saved my life that day. And im not going to lie to you. everyday i think about doing it. I had three more suicide attempts after that failed. Lately ive been contemplating on doing it. I cant stop thinking and thinking. Im 22 years old now and its been a decade of feeling suicidal  when will it stop? Or do i have to do it to make it stop?
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I have a similar story and while I didn’t try to hurt myself as early, I’ve been depressed more than 2/3rds of my life. I’m not sure it ever stops completely. SO far, I’ve just found ways to adjust to it and when those don’t work I panic and readjust. I mean it’s different for everyone. I hope it does fade friend, or at least change. This dull ache I carry with me is unbearable some days but I hear I’m strong because I have survived so probably you are too. I often wish I were weak but I try to push through.
Hey Lifeblows, I hope you make it through.
Hey Lifeblows, I don’t really know why I am doing this, but I want you to know that if you need somebody to talk to, or somebody to listen, email me at falling-raindrops@hotmail. c o m please.