confession

I dont know if you’ll see this all these hours later but… It’s up to us to manage our emotional lives the best we can. No one can do it for us. Most people are too self-absorbed and certainly dont want to be reminded of anything negative. That your parents didnt follow-up with treatment is no minor thing. It shows they are more worried about admitting something is wrong their child than addressing the issue. So you’re on your own and that, from the sounds of it, is not a bad thing. Don’t hate them. Just pity them and be as a good a person as you can. Be wise. Find your own group therapy, or one on one counseling, or both. Write on your computer where your privacy will not be violated. Try to be specific about what you feel and experiment with controlling your emotions. And learning to identify when youre exhibiting negative behavior. Like putting yourself down. Try willing yourself to feel a different way some time and see if you can. You may be surprised. Try to remember that you are not what you feel as surely as you are not that body. Feelings are states. You are the ground. Try to find things that give your even a little sense of purpose. IM reading a book that talks about some of these issues… called, The Conspiracy Against The Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror by Thomas Ligotti. He suggests we should all willingly stop reproducing, that human consciousness is an aberration and not a good one. It’s a cool overview of philosopher’s of a pessimistic bent and shows why it is better to be realistic about the horror that life too often is than to be in denial about it.
Good luck.