any last thoughts?

oh, Morgan, don’t give in just yet. Ohhhh, shit. How I’ve been where you are and might even find myself there again sometime. It’s a good thing you’ve come here. Please don’t leave! Please! Give it “five.” Keep listening. I’m “ready to go!” I quit “cutting,” but have the scars to prove the pain. I even took a picture of my bleeding feet (the last time) and just looking at it makes my heart pound. I knew cutting myself was not the route to take — sure feels good though, doesn’t it — seeing the pain pour out — but, THAT IS NOT THE WAY – and it can be very dangerous because you do not really want to die. I know, I know. Keep in touch with this site. Stay alive. You are, you really, really are worth saving.

I agree about turning the anger outward – keep it pointing away from you! But it sounds like you already know this.

I know what it feels like to feel powerless in a relationship with a family member or friend, like the relationship is just unfair and they take advantage of you all the time. I don’t know what to say about that except that it sucks, and in a dog-eat-dog world it seems to be the basic mindset. If you’re not big enough and/or mean enough to kick other people around, you’re expected to just sit there and take it. Sometimes I think it all comes down to the ability to inflict physical violence – even just the threat of it is enough, even if the bigger person never actually hits the smaller (or weaker) person.

I’ve thought about taking a martial arts class, although that doesn’t really seem to be the point. It seems to be about being the last one in the chain of ‘kicking the little guy’. The one who always gets the raw deal, the short end of the stick, gets treated like nothing and nobody.

Anyway, that was a bit of a rant of my own – I don’t know if that’s how it is for you (like what I described above), but the anger is good.

I agree with the above commenter that if you can find a way to really physically let the anger out, that would be good. I’ve never been comfortable with breaking things, but I roar and growl and throw something like an old phone book at the wall as hard as I can. Or if you had someplace you could throw empty jars or something and scream and yell and hear them shatter, there’s something about breaking things (things that you aren’t going to regret later) that is incredibly satisfying.

It sounds like you need to get away from your family and this ‘friend’ who has let you down so bad. Is there anywhere you can go to stay with someone who might ‘get’ you a little better, like a relative or something? I know the answer to that is often ‘no’ – I don’t really have anything like that myself.

And one other thing, I don’t know if you have this experience, but often times women get more flack for being angry than men do. There’s the cultural expectation of women being all ‘sugar and spice and everything nice’, and even though it may seem like just a saying, just notice how much anger and violence guys can get away with on an everyday basis, while women are expected to just smile and suck it up. GRRRRR.

Anyway. I don’t know if any of that helps, but I say, BE ANGRY. Rage. Tell people what you’re pissed about, and keep talking about it until somebody listens. Easier said than done, I know. Also, people tend to listen better to anger if you don’t attack them personally, but just make it really clear how it makes you feel and that you won’t put up with them treating you that way.

Anger is noy good ,but its human nature .Anger take a lot out of a person it is not healthy ,trust me and it make u do crazy things u will regret ;but its hard i know not to get angry ,but it can be challenging ,igess i spelled that right LOL.