“Life is what happens while you’re busy trying to fix RSI.” (repetitive strain injury) [this is actually paraphrased]
Now substitute “RSI” with whatever you haven’t been able to fix or change, regardless of who is at fault or to blame. It could be paralysis or disease or heartbreak, or even chronically reduced self-esteem, due to an abusive childhood, or even just “bullying.” It could even be that you simply realized that humanity seems to embrace and prioritize the most absurd things and notions, and even decides to mandate injustice and tyranny into “law.”
To simplify:
“Life is what happens while we’re busy trying to fix what went wrong (and ideally, to prevent its recurrence).”
However, there are lots of people who have not encountered terminally damaging stimuli, so do not appreciate (or even consider) the need to adjust their own actions to cease causing undue suffering to others… or worse: believe it is their right, to dictate what others may do with their own lives and bodies, and even punish disobedience of unacceptable rules, with violence and/or imprisonment.
Those people cannot yet understand why they are wrong, because they have not yet been made to suffer.
How can we make them understand, without providing them the same stimuli which caused us to understand the need to eliminate the causes of unnecessary suffering?
How can they understand our suffering, if they can’t feel it?
If they can’t feel it, they may not even believe it exists; as if we just invented a ruse to inconvenience them.
8 comments
I’ve never heard that one before. I have heard “life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”.
We can’t control what other people think, do or say. We can only control how we react. I don’t think it’s possible to get through to some people. Whether they’re willfully ignorant, stubborn, incapable of considering an opposing point of view, or just plain stupid – with some individuals, any attempt to get them to recognize the consequences of their actions will be an exercise in futility.
My approach in dealing with these types is to avoid them as much as possible. If someone is toxic to my well being they become dead in my eyes. That probably sounds harsh, but there are people on this planet who aren’t worth knowing.
Seems like you have a good approach/outlook on this type of thing.
I recently read an article that i almost shared here (maybe i still will), about how “arguing” with someone, is typically a surefire way to reinforce their already established, opposing opinion.
The trick of persuasion is that you have to get them to try to explain what they think they know, without it feeling like an “argument.” Upon attempting to do so, they will often begin to realize, without feeling “accused,” that they didn’t understand what they thought they did, quite as well as they previously believed. This is necessary to open the door to understanding, without reinforcing their preexisting opinion (which you likely already knew was wrong, and why).
I’ll quote Dave Mustaine here: “don’t let ’em know you’re thinkin’…”
I have a lifetime of experience dealing with the archetype you described. 🙂
People with rigidly held convictions often do not enjoy being challenged. They believe to their very core that they are correct, and any opposing perspective is coming from a fool. I don’t feel compelled to argue or persuade them of anything. If they choose to believe whatever it is they want to believe even with a lack of evidence to support their claim, that’s on them. I can explain my position but if they’re too emotionally invested in their convictions to budge, so be it. They can continue to be willfully ignorant. All I ask is that they stay away from me, and I’ll return the favor.
One more thing: You can’t use reason, logic, or critical thought when you’re debating a person who’s all about *feelings*. Feelings – “I know I’m right because I feel it in my heart”.
Any attempt to reason with a person’s feelings is …..(I was going to say a waste of time)…..uh, an exercise in futility.
Maybe that’s the secret to life: Trying to get along with people who are almost impossible to get along with.
I’d love to read that article, Mr. Clevername. Thanks for the perspective regarding the quote, I for one know that my problems and illnesses are only “ruses invented specifically to inconvenience others.”
I’m glad this last hiatus wasn’t too long.
Here’s the mindhacks article, which lead me to the article i mentioned.
Here’s a useful article : http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-negative-people-or-difficult-people/
Thanks so much for the links, all!