I think it’s time.
Tomorrow should work. I have my old bottle of Maker’s Mark. Also have some oxycodones the wife didn’t take from her recent surgery. One last buzz on whiskey and pain killers. I’ll pass on the smokes, though. Don’t want to rouse suspicion from the neighbors. Rope is knotted and marked. I’ll just call into work, wait for the wife and daughter to leave, then go back home.
Tomorrow, I can finally give up.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
9 comments
Back in August, you mentioned waiting for your birthday. I hope this isn’t the way you plan to mark it. You’ve also mentioned headaches. If they’re bothering you, maybe you can see a doctor? As for your plans, have you thought about your family? Your work? If you’re unhappy in life, there are ways to change it. Counseling, education, and other strategies can be used. Giving up on yourself isn’t the solution.
We’ll absolutely keep listening. If there are things you want to share about what’s going on, SP is a good community for that. Sometimes it helps to get things off your mind. Think about it.
Birthday was the first of this month. The headaches weren’t the deciding factor, but rather something about which to ***** and complain.
I’ve thought about it all. But that’s the thing. Everything is black if I try to really think about what happens to everyone after I’m gone. I don’t have any misconceptions that I’ll experience anything after I die, so I honestly can’t fathom how it will play out. Even so, I couldn’t control or influence any of it, anyway.
Is there something in particular that is leading you down this path? You mentioned that headaches weren’t the deciding factor. So much of life can be adjusted if there are other deciding factors. I think the effect on everyone will be much more significant than you think. Perhaps talking to someone about what’s going on and seeing how you can work it through would help? While you can’t control others, you can control what resources you give yourself. You certainly deserve some resources if it will help you.
I’m leaving because I don’t want to “live” any more. I don’t want to put forth the effort, time, energy, etc. I’ve had my fill of the human experience. It’s like a game that I don’t want to play anymore. I’m ready to get off of the ride that requires me to pedal the cart.
I don’t care anymore. I’m not sad or miserable. I’m… done, so to speak.
I understand completely that changes can be made. I’m simply not interested enough in any of the possible configurations to warrant the initiative.
Only you walk in your shoes. I’ve been in a similar set of circumstances. The only thing I can ask is that you carefully think about this. If you change your mind, there are resources. People here on SP and elsewhere can support you.
Thank you.
You hit the nail on the head.
I’m done too.
Birthday is on Saturday.
Can’t wait to celebrate!
wow, I totally know the feeling. If you’ve already gone then rest in peace. x
NoNameNeeded,
I don’t have a lot to add to distant.road’s great advice, but I will reiterate that I do hope you have given this decision careful thought and consideration (although I’m sure you have), especially considering your mention of a wife and daughter.
You also noted that you plan to commit the act (it sounds like a hanging) at home. If you have decided to go through with the suicide, I hope you will reconsider doing it there for the sake of your family. I’m sure you would not wish to traumatize either of them in finding you.
I do hope you somehow find a way to pull through.
L4Y