I’m sorry it’s a tad long but please read?
So I managed to stumble across ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ roughly five days ago, and, although I vaguely knew what it was, I wasn’t entirely sure. As curiosity would have it, I looked up the definition and symptoms. And after reading the list on multiple sites, I’m beginning to feel like something like this may be what’s wrong with me.
Now I hate it when people self-diagnose, and this is pretty much the same as that, but I am genuinely concerned yet don’t want to self-diagnose. For one, I don’t want to have a mental illness (the hospital tried to diagnose me a year or so ago), and for that reason I never tell my psychiatrist everything.
However, I seem to meet almost all the criteria for this disorder (with the exception of 2 or so) and it’s all affecting my day-to-day life – to the point where I am now off school more than I’m in. So I would like to speak to my doctor about this and see whether I possibly have something similar to this, or hopefully less serious.
I may be seeing him tomorrow and I’d like to bring this up with him. But I’m not sure how to go about it exactly. I’m not even certain he will entertain this idea as I live in England and not 16 until January, and here I’m not sure whether they would even consider something like this for an adolescent. And even if they did they usually send the adolescent to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service), where I have been going for 3 years – where everyone I see seems to be reluctant/refuse to give a diagnosis for anything besides anxiety/depression.
But in case he would think about it, I’d like to risk seeming like a self-diagnosing, ignorant child and mention it.
However, I wouldn’t even know how I shoulder bring it up.
So, if anyone could think of what I should say to him it would be a help? Please?
And also if anyone knows, would it be possible for me to ask for a different psychiatrist/psychologist than the one I talk to monthly to assess me for it if he did refer me on further.
Thanks.
7 comments
1) The world of psychology and psychiatry is slowly coming to understand that people under 18 can have BPD.
2) I’m not at all familiar with how the health care system works in England, so I can’t say with certainty, but I would think it unusual for a practitioner to keep someone from getting a second opinion.
3) Think very carefully about this. There is, in my opinion, no mental disorder more stigmatized than Borderline. From the very way it is misnamed (Borderline was because the initial belief was the behavior was borderline psychosis) to the beliefs about people who have it (manipulators, failures, abusers who will never have a healthy relationship with anyone), it is a hard, hard thing to live with. When Dr. Marsha Linehan, the woman who pioneered Dialectical Behavior Therapy, the most successful treatment for BPD, revealed that she has BPD, the mental health world was stunned. It was a very uncomfortable realization for people that we aren’t all failures, manipulators, destined for a life of government handouts and loneliness. I’m not trying to discourage an accurate diagnosis. That’s an incredibly important part of treatment. But be certain. And be skeptical of online sources. For every valid site, there are a thousand others written by someone’s bitter ex.
And know this, also. The term “personality disorder” should be done away with. There isn’t anything wrong with the personality of someone who has Borderline. We feel too much, we think too much, and we don’t know what to do with that. We are still decent people. I wish you all the luck.
I had a partner with BPD. I managed to convince him to check out CBT/DBT. He told me once I saved his life…well that was nice, but…anyway I think it would be good to get onto treatment as soon as possible and be honest with any therapist you work with, ultimately it’s in your best interests. Yes I agree the term borderline has nasty connotations so maybe renaming would be a good thing to do.
I’m definitely not against accurate diagnosis and treatment. I knew “just” depression wasn’t right, and it was almost a relief when I was diagnosed with BPD at 25. Better the devil you know sort of thing.
I’ve seen the suggestion Emotional Regulation Disorder. Better. No great, but better.
Any mental illness can produce challenging behaviours. I have PTSD, anxiety and depression. If challenging behaviours results in someone getting hurt, it’s best to repair that damage.
It’s totally possible to get a new psychiatrist, yeah. I don’t really know what else to tell you, but i’m happy to see that you’re still alive, you haven’t posted lately 🙂
Anyways, I hope things get better for you
I just want to ask, for clarity’s sake, what reasoning leads you to feel that you might meet the criteria for BPD? That’s a tricky disorder to self-diagnose (most cluster-B’s are, from what I understand – I might be wrong… it’s been a while since I’ve had a reason to brush up on BPD in particular). Regardless, it’s tricky to fit symptoms into categories in any meaningful way if you’re not impartial to the end result. Impartiality is hard, even for professionals in the psych field.
But to your concerns about talking to your doctor about it, my advice would be to just burst the bubble with the sharpest needle, and the most pointed jab you can muster. In my own experience, suggesting something like that might lead your doctor to see your symptoms in a new light – from an outsider’s perspective. Or he might disagree for any number of reasons and propose something different. Either way, it gets the lines of communication open on both sides.
I too recently read the definition & qualifiying characteristics, and now am wondering the same about myself. Yet I would be mortified to have this diagnosis. I don’t know how things work in England (hopefully better than here). But my suggestion would be to print off material from reputable sources & go to your dr saying “I identify with these characteristics, do you think there is a possibility that I may have BPD?”.