MY MIND AND I FIGHT
OVER THINGS THAT SHOULD BE OTHERWISE UNIMPORTANT.
“SHE” CROSSES MY MIND AND I DONT KNOW WHY
I ARGUE, BUT THE VISONS MY MIND SPEAKS ARE HAUNTING.
REPETATIVE. MY STOMACH CHURNS AND I TURN AGAIN TO ONE SIDE.
I LAY ON MY BACK NOW, ON MY COUCH.
BECAUSE THE BED GIVES ME NIGHTMARES.
NOW WISHING I LAID IN, I’D WELCOME THOSE DARK DREAMS, AS LONG AS I GOT SOME SLEEP.
TOO LATE NOW,LESS THAN 30 MINUTES BEFORE THE ALARM SCREAMS.
WHY DO I FEEL SO DIRTY NO, I WANT TO SAY DISTURBED…UNEASY.
I WANT TO BE ALONE, BUT I AM LONELY.
I WANT TO CRY.
BUT TEARS WONT FALL. I HAVENT CRIED IN SO LONG, ITS KILLING MY INSIDES.
LIKE KNIVES SLOWLY STABBING ME IN THE HEART, THE PAIN I FEEL IS SO SURREAL
DEATH TO ME WOULD BE ANOTHER START
RATHER IN HEAVEN OR HELL
A NEW LIFE IS A NEW LIFE
ONE I BECKON, COME.
THIS LIFE IS PAIN, I CANT EVEN CRY WHEN I WANT
INSTEAD ON INSTINCT I SWALLOW TEARS I NEED SO BADLY TO FALL
I NEED RELEASE.
SALVA ME,
FREE ME I BEG OF YOU, SAVE ME I SAID!!
I CANNOT TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS TORTURE.
I CAN FEEL MY DECLINE.
LIKE THE MOMENT YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES ON THE DECEND OF A ROLLERCOASTER.
AND THIS COASTERS JUMPED IT’S TRACK.
NOW I’M FREE FALLING.
MY CHAPTERS CLOSING
AND NOW THIS IS THE END.
THE END AND I STILL HAVE NO RELEASE.
NO CHILD TO MOURN ME.
NO FAMILY WHO WILL TRUELY MISS ME.
A BURDEN LIFTED FOR THOSE WHO CALLED ME “FRIEND”.
DEAD ALREADY ON THE INSIDE.
SO NOT EVEN I HAVE TO MOURN ME.
ANOTHER LIFE WASTED.
I GUESS THE STATICTICS WON.
I’M JUST PART OF THE 30% THAT FELL SHORT OF LIVING FULL LIVES.
BUT I’M NOT SAD, I’M HAPPY.
TO FINALLY DEPART.
TO SEE THE END OF THIS MEANINGLESS LIFE.
TO FINALLY FILL THIS VOID IN MY BEING.
I WASNT MEANT TO BE HERE.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH “SHE” WANTED ME HERE.
NO MATTER THE ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY USED TO KEEP ME HERE.
THIS LIFE WAS CHOSEN FOR ME,
I DID NOT CHOOSE THIS LIFE.
MANY OF YOU WILL SAY I’M SELFISH.
CARE OF NO ONE BUT MYSELF.
“SHE” WAS SELFISH TOO.
I GUESS THE APPLE DOESNT FALL FAR FROM THE TREE AFTER ALL.
BUT I WILL NOT CHOOSE TO GIVE LIFE TO ANOTHER, WHO CANNOT SUBSTAIN LIFE FOR ITSELF.
SO I CHOOSE TO LEAVE NO LIFE.
“DIVINITY’S” REIGN HAS ENDED, AND SHALL END WITH ME.
SO I CAST AWAY MY DREAMS OF EVER CHANGING THIS WORLD.
I LOOK UPON THOSE MANY FACES OF PEOPLE I ONCE KNEW.
AND THE MANY FACES OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE NEVER KNOWN.
WITH ONLY THIS MESSAGE: DONT GIVE LIFE TO PLEASE YOURSELVES.
LEAVE THE SPIRIT WORLD ALONE IF YOU ARE NOT COMMITED TO YOUR “HIGHER BEING”.
TRUE LOVE IS SOMEONE YOU ONLY HAVE ONCE, NEVER WASTE IT.
BE GOOD TO YOURSELVES WHATEVER THAT MEANS TO YOU.
CRY WHILE YOU STILL CAN, NEVER HOLD BACK.. IT WILL KILL YOU.
(END)
