Read a children’s book called “The giving tree” and I realized how cynical I am. But honestly am I cynical?? The worst is reality is it not? Of course there are brief moments of selflessness and kindness in the world but those are hard to come by. The book angered me, it made me feel pity because I saw myself as the tree. This tree that gave absolutely everything it had to a person who could careless. Yet even in the end, after everything the tree was still stupidly happy. I’m fucked up in so many ways that sometimes I don’t know if I can save myself or even love myself. I have trust issues and they are really bad I have realized that. I’ve been depressed lately more so the last few days but I can’t tell if it’s really me or if its from the drugs. I read this quote that really resonated with me, “It wasn’t the way we left each other that was so heartbreaking. It was the way I left myself.”. I’m upset because of what I’ve done to myself upset because I don’t have any true religious beliefs, I want to, I try to, but I fail.
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First you need to believe in your self. No god can help you, if you don’t do that.
Stupid people are more happy, that’s a fact. Drugs in fact numbs your brain, making them… And that is why life becomes so easy.
It is hard to trust someone else when at first you don’t trust your self. If you give something to someone else and they gave nothing back, than it’s their loss. Why you should feel burden of being yourself? F those people.