OK so im 16 an I do pain pills and I cut myself, and I know one day i am going to be so sad that im going to take all the pain pills I have and be done with this messed up world. So, I have to start pushing people away. I don’t want anyone to be sad when I die. I don’t want anyone to attend my funeral. I don’t want anyone to cry. I don’t want anyone to care. I’m worthless, stupid, and a waist of space. I already hurt the people I love, so let’s just start pushing everyone away so when the day comes, there’ll be no one who cares about me.
I have Mentors who try to help me stop doing drugs and cutting myself and help me build my self esteem, but I don’t deserve their love. I don’t deserve their time of day. I don’t understand why they care so much. When I graduate high school it’s not like their still going to be there.
I’m just going to start pushing them away, I don’t deserve them. They don’t need a sad person like me in their lives. One day I’m going to kill myself and I don’t want anyone to care…
2 comments
Lovebug4142,
SNAP OUT OF IT! stop worrying about others worry about yourself, stop this self destruction, try to be happy and you will, you are what you think about soooooo stop thinking negatively , if you do things will get better little by little, you have to try for yourself.
If there are people who care about you, it’s understandable to want to push them away and not want them to care about you because you can’t see anything worth caring about. You may want to ask them what it is about you that they see or care about. Maybe they can make some good arguments for why they care about you. If an of what they say sounds somewhat reasonable or familiar, maybe there is something worth it about you. there usually is something worth it about all of us. Maybe you should think about your options and how each option would make you feel. sorry my brain is falling apart now so I don’t have more but I wish you well.