i’ve always been alone. for as long as remember, i’ve been alone. After what seemed to be a lifetime, I had found someone who knew me as i wanted to be known. I found someone who…loved me as I wanted and needed to be loved. but now, she’s gone. I wake up in the middle of the night crying bitter tears. I cry till my heart gives out and I pass out. I’ve lost the only thing I’ve ever cared about. and it hurts in the deepest broken pieces of my heart.
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I know exactly how you feel. Your post made me cry because I recognized myself in it. I too cry every day and every night. I waited 36 years for her. Only had 4 gfs before, and 2 of them were very brief. The longest lasted 6 months. Between 26 and 36 I had no GG at all. Didn’t date, didn’t really care, had given up on love.
Then she came into my life and my heart was awoken from a coma. I loved her with every fiber of my being, but it wasn’t enough. After 5 1/2 years together, which included an engagement, she left me. And not only that, she went back to her ex-husband that she left to be with me in the first place.
And now she pretends that I don’t even exist. Like I never existed at all. Like our years together never actually happened. And so are her three kids who I helped raise for almost 6 years. They have all abandoned me and erased me.
And no matter what they have done to me, all I think about every second of every day is them. My desire to see them and talk to them is never-ending. I cry and cry and cry. My love for them will always remain, even if my body ceases to exist.