NMDA Receptor Antogonist

This is silly. I finally realize the number one thing that’s been retarding every attempt I make at living, and things just get worse. I’m stupid. My reason is gone. I don’t even get intoxicated anymore. It’s just a way to relieve the pressure in my head. I’ve grown up so much lately. And every ounce of maturity carries with it in equal weight a new wavelength of despair. I have no energy. I am a brick. I cannot think. I’m just being lazy. I’m a coward. I’m afraid to be strong. Being strong takes too much energy. I don’t have energy. I am a brick. I can just lie wherever gravity deposits me. I have so much ambition. But no strength. No energy. I’ve always been a loser. I want to lose. Losing is easy. Let me be a brick. WORLD.  And to you monkey I am sorry I intruded on your home. You have real problems. I am just weak. Why do you live under a bridge? Becase you’re a man. And I’m a boy. A weakling. I am tired of being conscious.