It’s really hard to be strong for someone else when you’re so broken yourself. Sometimes I just want to crawl in a hole and never leave it.
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be strong
I can’t keep up with this anymore. So much chaos, I feel like I can’t breathe. I bit off more than I can chew, and it’s breaking my jaw. The joints about to hang from nothing but tissue. Like a loosened door hinge. I can’t take it. I can’t keep up. I’m trying so damned hard to be the person everyone wants. Everyone needs. But I can’t. I need to try to get myself better. It may seem like these past few days have been ok, but they are not. I’m not fucking ok, o.k.?I haven’t recovered magically, this tragedy I am stuck in has […]
To my future husband, I haven’t met you yet, and I probably never will. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t be strong enough to have waited in this world for you. I’m sorry I killed our great love affair before it was even conceived.
To my unborn child/children, I’m sorry I’ll never get to bring you into this world, I’m sorry I’ll never get the opportunity to leave a part of myself to the next generation. Oh my dear babies I’m sorry I was too much of a mess that meant motherhood would always elude me.
To my future, I’m sorry the present destroyed my desire to […]
I’ve struggled with it for so long. I thought that loneliness was something I had to protect myself from. I spent so much time putting up walls that I didn’t realize it was coming from in me. It wasn’t seeping its way into me, because at my core and my karmic debt, I am loneliness. I don’t deserve to have people who cherish me.
I’m not enough. I’ll never be enough. I can’t save people. What good is someone like that? I keep trying though. I find people who need someone. Someone to fill that place that sits somewhere behind their heart. They only need me […]
Gah I’m so tired of them! All day all night my emotions change by the minute… I though I was getting better 🙁 But I seem to have only gotten worse. I just want to be strong for my loved ones (you guys are of course included) you know? I want you all to know that I am here to help, but if someone needs to lean on me for strength and I crumble… I couldn’t forgive myself. How do you deal with the voices in your head?
i want someone to physically wrap their arms round me and hold me. Dont say everything will be okay i need someone to tell me we cant always be strong. I dont have anyone to love or be loved by. My parents dont take my depression and anxiety seriously they think i want attention. i dont want attention i want to be loved but i dont act out to be loved. My attempt was a attepmt but also a test. If i killed myself or atleast attempted i wantd to see who will go out of there way to make sure im okay and make […]
Darkness, my friend
Breathless, and tired has become a regular feeling, the darkness taking over the light within. Shadows of my past, the skeletons in my closet and the words that left scars, over flow, leaving me grasping for help. Unable to move, to face the day, I lay there in quiet, letting the shadow take all my goodness and innocence and leave me empty and hollow. Rushing through my days in a haze, forcing a smile onto my exhausted face so that no one can see that I’m falling. Smiling, laughing and hiding, leaves me feeling weak and small, I am just gliding through life […]
How will I face reality? How will i be strong enough? In reality the cold hard truth is revealed. In reality i am forced into this shell that is damaged and different. In reality thoughts of how worthless, ugly, fat and not good enough i am rush into my head. In reality thoughts of the future worry and scare me. In reality i ask myself “When will this end?” when i should be focusing on “How will this end?” So how? How can i stop hiding my pain and my fears and be okay. How am i going to be strong enough to not have […]
i’ve thought about suicide since high school. Having dark thoughts, being depressed easily. I’ve experienced being broke and worked my way up again. But still, suicidal thoughts linger on my mind. Maybe im just weak. I’ve attempted twice but failed. I just need to be strong. I know i can do this. No one can help me. Its the only way out.
I can’t go through this anymore, being lied to, betrayed, and hurt by.I’m tired of wanting to not be myself of hurting myself. I contemplate if I ceased to exist how long it would take anyone to notice, well if anyone ever did. When you are alone and don’t have anyone who truly loves you its hard. I can’t be strong anymore because I know its not worth it. No one actually wants to be with me for something other than their personal gain.
but its just so hard….. I suffer from manic depression and existential anxiety. two days ago, I stood by a main road and contemplated jumping in front of a car. my mind told me that I wanted to die, but it also told me that I might die, and I was afraid. my father ran to me and pulled me away. my mom is mainly the reason… she hits me and tells me im worthless. I don’t tell the authorities because every time I try my mom says that she know how to hit me in ways that wont leave a mark and that they […]
Everything is falling apart. My girlfriend was kidnapped, held against her will, and raped.For days. she is not the same any more . I promised her I would keep her safe and I failed.i love her so much and I wish I could take her pain away. I have recently started using drugs again and I can’t stop. Im losing everything i love. I want to be strong for her but I’ve never felt more weak in my life. I need help. She is suicidal andd is in a mental institution. I try to give her reasons to live but I can’t find one for […]
This is silly. I finally realize the number one thing that’s been retarding every attempt I make at living, and things just get worse. I’m stupid. My reason is gone. I don’t even get intoxicated anymore. It’s just a way to relieve the pressure in my head. I’ve grown up so much lately. And every ounce of maturity carries with it in equal weight a new wavelength of despair. I have no energy. I am a brick. I cannot think. I’m just being lazy. I’m a coward. I’m afraid to be strong. Being strong takes too much energy. I don’t have energy. I am a […]
I received the results today. It hurts so much.
I’m not allowed to cry. I’m not allowed to feel devastated over not getting what I worked my ass off for. I’m not allowed to dwell on the what ifs. I’m not allowed to be in pain because I just found out that those hours-days-months-years I spent was useless. I’m not allowed to feel bad for failing.
I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to get the fuck up if I fall down and move on, move forward. I get it. I get what I’m supposed to do.
But I can’t.
I’m not the strong person you think I am.
I […]
Dont be weak, be strong. Don’t worry about things out of your own control. Don’t let other peoples actions effect you. Be the one in control. Why does any of it matter anyways? Just say fuck it and do what makes you happy.
I’m 21 and I’m already tired of this life. I don’t want to die..just want to disappear. I’m ready to give up everything I have, just to be in a better place. I started self harming last year. All these years, I was trying to be strong and pretending that I was normal after every shit that I’ve been through. Lying is more of a habit because nobody really wants to listen to your shit. Family still thinks that I’m fine and I’m scared to ask for help.
Day by day, I’m losing my sanity, cuts are getting more deeper and memories are fading.
Sometimes […]
Its stupid i feel like this
I shouldnt need anyone
I shouldnt feel this lonely all the time
I shouldnt depend on anyone
I want to be strong and not depend on them
But they make me feel nice when i talk to them
But its rare now a days
The moments where we actually talk
They want to be left alone for hours
But all i need for hours is human contact
I wish they noticed
That i need them so fucking much
But they never do.
Going to treatment tommorow to get help, but in my mind its just going to make it worse. We will see when i get out, but everybody keep yalls head held high, and be strong. Project simicolon ;;; !!! Draw a simicolon on your wrist. The simicolon is used in writing sentences for authors who could end their sentence but have chosen not to. Draw this on your wrist because YOU are this author who could have ended your life but have chosen not to. Stay strong!
I’ve never wrote on one of these sites before, and up until recently I thought I was always capable of overcoming the self loathing I feel every day.
It changed recently, my wife left me and now I can no longer speak with her other than through occasional text messages.
I want to find hope in those messages, but I can’t I spent everyday crying and focusing on my way out of this. I’ve ordered everything I need to leave this world except my gas which will be coming soon.
She wanted me to get help and now I am it doesn’t seem to be […]
There probably isn’t any meaning in life. Perhaps you can find something interesting while you’re alive. Like how you found that flower. Like how I found you. – Orochimaru
This quote & someone on here once telling me to “be strong, have resolve”…those are the only two things keeping me here. Pathetic, I know.
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