I have felt like shit for so long, I don’t remember what it’s like to feel normal.
Since the fifth grade, I have been dieting because one of my friends constantly told me my thighs were fat. I compared myself to her daily: She was pretty, had good grades, had a Mom lot of boys wanting to be her boyfriend, and I had jack shit.
In sixth grade, I started self harming. I was caught, but nothing came of it and I started to do it again about a month later.
In seventh grade, I started getting bullied. I would get shoved in the halls and would get called ******, whore, *****, slut on a day to day basis.
Now, I am in eighth grade. I have a beautiful girlfriend (yes I am gay) and I still feel like a fat piece of nothing. I am 5’5”, about 90lbs and I hate myself so much. I continue to self harm and I already have a plan for my suicide. I just need the right time.
2 comments
You shouldn’t diet or feel bad about yourself because of what other people say.
She probably commented on your thighs being fat (which i’m sure they weren’t) because she was jealous of you and wanted to make you feel bad for it.
Self harm can feel like it helps – but eventually it only makes you feel worse.
If you could ever find anything else to use insted, as a distraction or as a similar feeling, you should try.
Those who choose to bully – they are the real ugly ones and their words shouldn’t count.
The only way to deal with them is fighting them back.
Do NOT let them bring you down, ever.
we don’t use inches and lbs here but if online info is correct that’s around.. 165cm, 40 kg?
That sounds perfectly fine to me. a bit too thin even.
I’m sure your girlfriend loves you, and not just because of the way you look which i’m sure isn’t as bad as you feel or make it out to be, but also because of who you are.
You have no reason to hate yourself.
I’m sure you look gorgeous just the way you are anyway, and even if you don’t like your looks now, you might later as you grow and change.
Do you have a counselor or teacher at school you could confide in? There’s no reason to hate yourself just because you’re legally forced to attend an institution full of social hierarchy based on residency restrictions, that thrives on attendance, extra curricular activities, and most importantly, standardized testing.
You’re a wonderful person or you couldn’t have a girlfriend. The things people have told you are wrong. Stay proud of being gay, and please don’t think you’re fat. I’m not going to lie and say it gets better. There will always be bullies and people who want to hold you down in life. Show them you’re stronger than them, in your own way.
Stop turning your hatred on yourself. You are not the problem.