Please, somebody that’s more logical than me, somebody that can help. Tell me not to, tell me not to beg my cousin to give me her number so I can text her. It wouldn’t even be that long of a text, and I wouldn’t send more than one. Please, tell me not to. I want her to be happy, I can’t let me ruin that for her. I’m better than that.
God, she’s so beautiful though. She’s absolutely intoxicating. When I look at her, I find it damn near impossible to imagine I’ve kissed those lips. The one thing I can be sure of though is that I want to do it again. With everything in me I want to do it again. I want to listen to her voice sing. God, does she sound amazing. She’s perfect. She has issues, I’m not denying that, but to me those only make her that much more perfect. I’d give anything to talk to her, and have her listen. Have her understand. I wrote her a poem, okay, I’ve written her a few, but this one’s special. Because she has the only copy of it. I never typed it, I just wrote it on the paper I drew a rose on. I want her to understand how I feel, maybe she’d change her mind if she could.
Don’t listen to me though, I just wanted you to understand how bad of an idea it’d be to give me her number again. Tell me not to. Please. Tell me not to.
18 comments
Hey, bad idea, bad idea all around to ask for her number, dude you know this, and in your current state you wouldn’t be able to just send her one message, you know last time you screwed things up, you told her she would be the one to contact, so if you want the possibility of a chance with her you need to stick by your word. Just write down everything on a normal piece of paper or type it up whatever but you can’t talk to her.
Thank you x. I’m having such a hard time.
I can tell. Try to distract yourself as best you can, music videogames writing anything that will keep you from doing what you know you shouldn’t.
It’s just.. She won’t talk to me. I know she won’t! If I don’t do something it’ll never happen, but if I do something, I’ll fuck it all up. I want to scream, punch a wall, and just do something to get this out of me
You can’t know she won’t talk to you, you said she was pretty busy with things in her life anyway and it hasn’t been a lot of time. You can’t force the issue. Besides that, the longer you resist that urge, the more she will realize how serious you are about trying to fix things.
I know that feeling of wanting to get it out, but I don’t deal with it well so I have nothing to offer you there. Perhaps some exercise? Flat out sprinting can tire a person fairly quickly.
If I could make this go away. If I could stop caring for her, I would. Hate Me Today, Hate Me Tomorrow. Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you. Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow. Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you.
God I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I don’t have words to help except to say I understand. That longing I understand. You don’t have to stop caring for her, you don’t even have to stop loving her. You only have to step back and not cross that line. And it’s so damn hard, I understand so well that it is so brutally hard. But if you truly love her, really with your heart, you will give her room and not make advances that are not welcome.
But oh my God I so understand and I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry you have to understand this. It’s a bloody hell. Thank you Hazy. I’m doing my best to make me forget. To make me say no.
I limit myself and it’s like withdrawal. And I feel like a total freak. So yes, I understand. And he will never be mine.
Well we’re all a bunch of nutters aren’t we? Running around, pretending we don’t have disorders galore. Ever wonder what life’d be like if we never developed these things?
My life would be one dimensional and I suspect yours would as well. Imagine life without love. I’d rather not, even if it isn’t returned it still warms my heart to think of him.
Hazy, your depth never fails to surprise me. I’ve wondered how my life would be, and I’ve always decided I’d be an even worse person without them. May you never feel what I’ve felt again.
thank you thelost. That is much appreciated. I’m less of a lunatic tonight so I have rational advice instead of vague poetry. For about 20 seconds while I was reading your story I thought maybe you were him. But I never kissed him.
Don’t do it, man. You deserve respect. You aren’t a damn yo yo and she can’t be the one holding the string. I know how difficult it is, but it will fade with time. Just keep it together. Who knows. Maybe the lack of interest will make her see what she’s missing.
Except she isn’t missing anything. What do I offer? Some shitty stories and even shittier drawings. All I bring to the table is problems and hurt. Thank you Sammi, I need a friend tonight.
Email me. I promise you, high school won’t get much better. You need some support. While I don’t have all the answers, it sounds like you’re walking a path nearly identical to my own and I’d hate to see you lose yourself like I did.
shesaghostnow@gmail
wonderful stories and beautiful drawings. I’m not going to be trite and say if she doesn’t understand that she isn’t worth it because clearly you feel she is worth it. The heart wants what it wants. And never when it is convenient and many times when it isn’t reciprocated.
Both of you, I cannot express my happiness for your support. And my sorrow that such good people may be infect with what I also have. Thank You, My friends, and May we all March along for a time. With no clear leader in my time of darkness, you are the soldiers to my side. X, the man in front of me. Rocketman, the crazy sonofabitch that somehow got the biggest gun and the most explosives out of all of us.