Lost all hope

This week was total darkness for me. .. Strugling alone. Every body i ask for help just turn there back on me. Now if you know me you will know i ask a question like how are you? and if you react badly like not so good etc. In withdrawal totaly…
2 days ago I did another search on ( yes call it lame) how to die.. F*¢k its difficult to die…
When I saw the post on coping skills from dawg. If he can over come it so can I.. Still have no way out or no reason to see hope, but I do want to find the invisible summer in this cold and dark winter.