I’m new here, and I take a lot of courage to open an account and post this… When I was reading some of the stories written here , I no longer felt alone. Now I see I’m not the only one suffering for love, I’m not the only one who feels to die because of someone else…
Sorry if my English is not good, but, it’s not my native language. I hope everyone can understand me…
This is a little bit of my story .
It all started when i was 15, I met a wonderful guy. Maybe he wasn’t the most handsome, but he was the MOST sweet and understanding . Our relationship lasted four years, maybe I wasn’t the best, and I know it, but he had also his faults, just like everyone…
He left me.
I asked for one more chance, but he said NO.
I was clinically diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Despite having no suicide attempt, I have planned it every day since he said no.
Is it Possible to die of love?
Is it possible to die because someone doesn’t love you anymore?
Is it real the pain I feel?
Why did I dream about him every night?
Why should I remember when he used to love me?
I feel so sad now, and I used to feel alone… but not anymore. Not alone.
3 comments
The prolonged stress, including the emotional one, does damage our body, so yes, in severe cases one can die of a broken heart, or rather an heart attack or a stroke caused by that. I’m just 24 and I’ve already got heart issues, which in turn worsen my not so perfect kidneys and liver, while I don’t smoke nor drink and doctors, who are not even aware of my mental condition, attribute it to stress, so they can hardly be baised towards this diagnosis.
And yes, the pain you feel is very real. All the pain we feel is “only in our head”, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real. No matter if it’s caused by a sharp spike pierced through our chest or by an empty space left in a heart by a loved one. It’s created as a defense mechanism so we treat our wounds, but emotional pain can be mostly treated only by time and then more time.
Dreams reflect our subconscious. When my teeth hurt, I constantly dreamt about them falling out. Sometimes, when I felt alone and I craved for love, I actually dreamt of first dates and the experience was so vivid I almost fell in love with the dream “person”. Sometimes I still dream about my friend who is no longer in my life, since she cut all ties, moved abroad and we have barely spoken few sentences over several years, while she was one of my best friends and I dare to say I was one of hers, considering how much time she wanted to spend with me. But I’m derailing now…
What I wanted to say is that it’s completely normal that you still dream about him, especially since you loved him so much.
And why you should remember him? Well, why not remember beautiful memories that made us happy? The problem is when we remember only the good stuff, forget the other stuff and it starts to haunt us. I used to idealize my friendship with that girl I mentioned, but when I contacted her after all those years, I quickly remembered how she abandoned me and that she doesn’t deserve my friendship anymore. I don’t hate her, but I see her in a different light now.
Maybe something like this could help you as it helped me – try to look at it all from a different perspective, if possible. He is the one who lost a person who loved him really much, but you lost a person who didn’t deserve your love.
Also, your English is good. I’m not a native speaker myself and I understood you without any problems.