What can I say, that hasn’t been said a thousand times?
How can I be at the end of the road, when I’m stuck in a damn round-a-bout?
Why bother doling out advice, I don’t even follow?
Does it really matter if the chicken or egg came first, when they’re both in existence now?
Does anyone really care what’s in my wallet?
9 comments
Long time listener first time caller, thanks for taking my call, Alan.
No problem, Alan. What you have to contribute?
Well, Alan, I’d like to answer all your questions with another question and unbiased answer.
Excellent, Alan. Go right ahead.
Alan, are you depressed because life sucks or does life suck because your depressed?
Great question Alan.
Well, now let me answer… Yes and no. See because reasons so thoughts stuff right? OK, things. It’s just a you know, if you will.
The fuck Alan?
Right! Feel better now?
The best explanation I’ve ever heard for the chicken vs. egg conundrum is this:
Something similar to a chicken, but not quite a chicken laid an egg. Inside the egg was a mutant, and that mutant was the first chicken. The mutant chicken was different enough from her egg laying parent to not be exactly the same; inside the egg was something different, which turned out to be the very first chicken.
The mutant chicken reproduced, and those reproductions also reproduced. That first mutant chicken’s mother, (the-almost-a-chicken-but-not-quite) also reproduced, but her progeny didn’t succede. The mutant chicken’s offspring ultimately prevailed, generation after generation, and they all came from that very 1st egg.
What IS in your wallet?
“What can I say, that hasn’t been said a thousand times?”
Glad you asked.
Here are some things that have never been said a thousand times, possibly not even once:
1. “Here, Cordless, have a million dollars.”
2. “We, the makers of Coca-Cola, have decided to return to the days when cocaine was an ingredient. Enjoy!”
3. “I am so sick and tired of having orgasms.”
4. “This fake vegetarian bacon is even better than the real thing!”
** sniff sniff**
AcccgghhhhH!
Is the hair pink ???
@ Cordless,
Your list makes leads me to believe, we think a lot alike
1. Million dollars
2. Cocaine
3. Orgasms
4. Bacon
So glad I’ve met you.
T.
The beauty of it all is that as long as you have the million dollars, you can probably buy the other three.
No pink hair. In real life it’s plain ordinary brown.
I took my pictures and did freaky things to them in photoshop.
Some are pink, orange, blue, purple, black/white/gray, some are sideways.
Clearly I have too much time on my hands.