I know everything happens for a reason but I would like to know the fuckin reason
when I was 18 I lost a good friend of mine I alway wanted God/creator or the universes what ever u want to call it to take me instead I prayed that we could change places cause I know I ain’t shit and I going to be shit 8 years later I’m more suicidal and I’m still here suffering more and I know my friend would of done more with hes life I still don’t want to be here but I feel I don’t have a choice
do u think it’s selfish to kill your self ?
How much Suffering can one person take u could suffer for years there is no guarantee life will get better am I just hanging around with faults hopes is all the pain going to be worth it if I make it though who the knows or even cares if I’m here or disappear
14 comments
God moves in mysterious ways. Gangnam Style.
If you have people that love you, yes, suicide is selfish. I mean, even peripheral friends or acquaintances, or even strangers can be severely affected. But it is okay to be selfish sometimes. It is also selfish to expect someone to stay alive suffering for your sake.
But suicide is quite the radical act. It’s the biggest thing you can do to yourself, and one of the biggest you can do to those close to you. It seems silly to me to not try other radical things first.
Whatever is getting you down, there is probably SOMETHING or other you can try do about it. Do that first.
In retrospect, I’m not sure I attempted powerfully enough to dissuade you from suicide.
Don’t kill yourself. I’ve been suicidal for a decade, but some things have really helped. I’ve learned a lesson or two along the way. I have quit medication, which has radically changed my life, making me take it more seriously, both the good and the bad. I have started reading more novels written by women, somewhat remedying my woeful ignorance when it comes to women’s lives. These things are cool. They expand your horizons. They give you some reason to live.
You could also try googling “aeon ask the aged”, which is a neat essay about learning stuff from really frickin’ old people.
Books by women hu? Interesting.
Women. Hmm. I was going to say something but i don’t want to sound like I’m stereotyping. Like, if i said they don’t go on with macho stuff, they can sometimes express emotions better, may be better at somehow diffusing situations. Yes yes! Expand your horizons, there’s a babe in the distance
That Y chromosome is tricky to navigate. I think it shows remarkable creativity and sensitivity.
ya well at least suicide is a choice we have (except nobody built the euthanasia clinic i requested). Oooo the big bad wold blew it down
It wouldn’t be suicide then… ya know, if you died in a euthanasia clinic. Hehehe! The government wants your tax dollars, so they’re not going to kill you; and the church wants your tithes, so they won’t kill you either. You either do it yourself, or you suffer. No one is going to help us deliver ourselves but us. Hard fact of life, I think.
Hi Drowning.
No, suicide is not selfish. Not if it’s done for the right reason. Muspelhem has a point. It is a logical choice, but should be used as a last resort ONLY, after all other logical choices have been thoroughly investigated.
Now, I’m not going to tell you how to believe. That’s your personal choice. Personally, I don’t believe there is a god, or an after life, or an immortal soul, etc. But that’s MY beliefs. You have to come to grips with your own.
I know you’re hurting. It sucks to lose someone. I’m 50 years old and have lost many people. It sucks. Of course, most of the time, one’s pain is selfish, because even though it was he that died, it was YOU that lost him and YOU miss him.
But that’s just one aspect of your pain. The other problem is that you feel worthless. That’s another sucky feeling. It’s no fun to feel that way. I know this because I too feel this way from time to time.
My life has been one long string of disappointments. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for over 30 years. Probably close to 40 years if the truth be known. But I’ve never acted on them. I came close a few times. Even up to a week ago! So the thoughts have never left me.
I always find myself thinking, “Had I killed myself when I first thought about it, I could have saved myself 30, maybe 40 years of suffering.” Yeah, every day is worse than the previous, so that means every day is the worst fucking day of my life. Yet for some bullshit reason, I keep going. Thumbing my nose at my bad luck, the universe, and everything that’s trying to destroy me. That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right? Some days I don’t feel strong. Other days I feel like god damn superman!
I’ve never been under a doctor’s care (I don’t trust them or the medical industry; I feel as long as I’m on the outside and they don’t know what’s in my head, they can’t confine me and I’m free to do it if I need to), nor have I ever been on meds. I have self-medicated from time to time with herbals like Kava Kava Root, etc.
Yeah, what’s the difference of dying today or 50 years from today? Nothing at all. Dead is dead. The dead don’t tell time. Only the living do that.
How much suffering can on person take? That’s up to the strength of the individual. Everyone is different. Some people are strong and can endure MAJOR suffering and still not crack, while others are weak and crumble over the smallest thing. Again, discovering which type you are is up to you.
We are born alone and we’ll die alone (if we so choose).
You CAN survive this. If you want to.
Even though I don’t know you (yet), you are NOW in my mind. Just for the record, I hope you do NOT disappear.
Your new friend,
Jack
I once was where you are, angry with God, wondering why I wasn’t the one to die and he was when I have health issues, can’t work, can’t go to school, I don’t do anything. He was on the college football team and had a full scholarship to school for some fancy law or politics degree. Why did he have to go?
I wanted to leave so bad, just end it all, be done dealing with the pain. It wasn’t until I tried (and failed) that I began to see things differently. The fact that I ended up in the hospital and not a funeral home gave me the opportunity to see the suffering those actions brought to other people. Strangers, people who I hardly talked to since high school, family members who I thought didn’t care about me anymore…. They all showed up to tell me how hard it was for them that I tried to leave when they love me so much, how hard it would be for them and how painful if not only he was dead, but then I was dead too.
I personally don’t believe suicide is selfish. I believe it’s our soul’s way of trying to escape suffering when we think we’ve ran out of options. For years I stayed mad after I got out of the hospital and wish it would’ve worked, and still suffered. However, today, 7 years later, I’ve managed to find reasons why I am here. Even if they’re just some BS reasons like I was able to give a homeless guy a pack of Top Ramen today so now he has one less day of starvation. Or, maybe if I hadn’t smiled at that cash register clerk they would’ve had no smiles received that day. It’s easy to live life in suffering and keep yourself suffering. It’s difficult to live in suffering and live a meaningful life, but you’re truly in control of that. You choose what is meaningful to you and you freaking own that and start waking up each day and saying, “Even though I feel like a piece of shit today, I’m alive because I like to do this hobby, and I like to tell people about how awesome my friend was so that people who never got the chance to know him can now.” It takes a hell of a lot of practice to do, but you define what is meaningful to you and find what works. If you feel you need to let go, I’m not going to stop you. But, I am going to try to encourage you to hold on and try this because it worked for me and today I believe my reason for living this day is to share this story with you. Maybe one day you’ll be in my shoes, but you won’t know if you give up now. If you need to talk, I’m here to listen, and I won’t judge you. I know how hard it is to feel the way you do, and I also know I’ll never fully understand what you feel, but I’m going to try my best and I won’t ever give up on you. I hope you can hang in there a little longer.
Sending you loves and hugs.
-Sami Jo
Thanks sami
You’re very welcome. Just don’t give up. Never give up.
In trying I really am
I guess one of the biggest mistakes that current society makes is making your parents teach you that you’re a special snowflake in the middle of creation, because if we sort of are one, society itself doesn’t see us as such. That means no special treatment unless you’re lucky (i.e: been born in advantageous conditions), no advantages over others unless you’re lucky, and you guessed it: no guarantees. The problem there is that when reality hits us eventually… it hits hard, and we’re left with a handful of “what’s the point, what are the reasons for everything, why is my life like this” kind of questions.
Is there an answer to that? i have no idea, and i sort of believe more in random events that seem to happen for a reason, than in the existence of an actual reason. But same as there’s no sure answer to those questions, there isn’t a sure answer to the whole “is suicide selfish” thing. Imho? it’s just a pov thing, because it might be selfish to those you’re leaving behind, but it might also be selfish from them to ask you to live for them. I guess it depends on where you’re standing in life and how are the people around you (if they’re pro-suicide and all that stuff).
Thanks for the support guys it’s appreciated