I’m astounded I never heard of suicide project before, seeing as I’ve fantasized about, planned and studied suicide for many many years. Whenever I dare to get close enough with someone that I might actually feel happy, they sense my deep depression and ask the inevitable – are you suicidal? That doesn’t satisfy them, no. They have to go further. How often do you think of suicide? That’s when they flee.
The bonds I need in order to cease feeling suicidal are not available to me until I’m no longer suicidal.
And around and around we go.
6 comments
hi there …welcome to sp..lots of understanding here … I can relate to what you said.. if you need someone to talk to, I am always available
Thank you
Exactly! I struggle with the same.
I know how you feel. I don’t want anyone I know to realize I’m suicidal until I’m dead
or better yet, never
I get what you mean. When swept under the rug, we start to fantasize about it. It’s no big deal, just a secret, all ours, no one could accept it. But then we isolate a part of ourselves that really needs to be shared.