My life has never been good. I was abused as a child, it got really bad and i feel like it has caused brain damage. I find myself forgetting a lot of things i cant remember names or important information. The thoughts that i have can not be properly translated when i open my mouth to speak. I honestly sound like an idiot. I have also been sexually abused and I am told it’s not a big deal because it happens to everyone so i have to get over it, it replays in my mind every single day and that might sound like an exaggeration but there really isnt a day where my mind lets me forget. My relationship is not good i had a stillbirth and a misscarrage and i swear i never left the hospital im still there everyday in my mind. You would think that would make people stronger but it tore us apart. The only time in my life that i wasnt depressed was when i was pregnant. I really just want to die, now the only think that makes me happy is the thought of being dead. Im really scared ill mess up and i wont die. I have tried 5 times in my life and im still here. I dont know if there is a god but if there is he really hates me and loves to watch me suffer. Im going to hang myself this time if it doesn’t work im all out of ideas. Sorry for bothering you with my problems if anyone is even reading, this will more than likely go unnoticed so thank you for allowing me to post it.
Goodbye
1 comment
Please don’t hang yourself. Please don’t kill yourself.
All those things you have gone through are horrible and terrible, and they should happen to no one, but they have, and you can’t change that now, no one can.
And you have knock-on effects to this day, and that is hard to change too. But what you can do is do everything in your power to crowd those bad times and the scars they left you with out with new, good times. Things you enjoy, things you are good at, people you like, places you love.
I’m sure you have a lot of beauty in you for the world and that the world has a lot of beauty in it for you, which you can pick if you stand on your toes and let go and are kind to yourself.
Hugs