I don’t know what to do anymore

I feel worthless
Stupid
Not wanted
Like no one will care
I tried cutting myself before it made me more depressed
I don’t know who I can trust anymore
I tried to tell my best friend all she did is tell me to stop thinking about suicide I told her that I stopped when all I did was make it worse. I can’t talk to my mom about it she thinks it’s stupid that people cut themselves and have thoughts about suicide. I was no longer depressed when stuff started to go good and my crush asked me out. Everything was fine but then the thoughts came back “no one cares kill yourself right now” then I started to cut and I looked up suicide. Then I found this site and I read a lot of posts on here and I related to a lot of them.