Hello everyone, new to this. Never written in a forum, except for the SW forum on Reddit last week. Basically Im in deep shit due to my denial and stubbornness. I am way too disappointed in my self to forgive myself. I have hurt myself and in the process people that have cared for me.
I just feel I have reached my patience with myself, feel like I cant do it anymore. I cant commit suicide because that would actually mean giving my family the last fuck you. Least I can do is be here for when the shit unravels, and try to take it like a man. Cant fuck my family anymore, nor people who care for me.
The problem is I am a fucking zombie right now. Been researching so many suicide methods, I laugh at the knowledge I have gathered about killing oneself, like I cant believe I am in this situation.
So wanting to do it, but not wanting to hurt loved ones even more. Fantasized with making it look like an accident, sounded like a perfect escape, but honestly scared of that, because all ways out like that seem so painful, also not easy to plan at all.
So, just wanted to say hi, would appreciate any comment.
22 comments
It’s good that u think of your loved ones. But honestly do what u feel I right for yourself. Weather its killing yourself or staying here. But at least hang on longer. Our Demons really do know to swim fuck … Lol … But ppl will say if u just think of yourself your being stubborn but honestly. This our life, our bodies, we control our selves. No one can tell us what to do for the rest of our lives. But you know do what’s best for you
~Stay Strong? ~ Love the Mad Hatter
hey 844… welcome… when i ?ame here, i felt just like you… now i feel a lil better day by day.. still have bad days.. just saying i relate to everything you said and this is a great pla?e and you have a friend right here..
Welcome to suicide club ull fit in just fine here were all in the same boat
Hey Mad hatter, thanks for replying. I just cant leave my family, Id rather be a zombie I dont know. I do agree it is our bodies and live though, Im just so hurt with how I have conducted myself. I am that typical fucking idiot that stops certain attitudes when scared, I have been fucking disrespctful and stupid, hate myself, but as soon as it feels Im aout of the woods, its time fuck my life even worse than last time!! Im insane.
Hey sportsnut, its nice to see you relate, thank you for writing, you have a friend here to. Hows everything going
Hey drowning, thank you for the welcome
How’s it going 40 u seem to be having a tough time like the rest of us
80
yeah man, terrible actually, I have a therapists appointment in an hour. Mabe she can give good advice n how to get out of this fucking mess. Can somene tell why I have been so fuckng stupid is beyond me.
What’s a mess what happened my life a mess aswell your not alone
Welcome to rock botton 844. Dues is due the 3rd Tuesday of months that end in K, payable by your bitter tears of disappointment or EU. The collection tin is next to the shotgun that doesn’t work and the rope that keeps breaking.
OMFG…
dang that quip was cordless wothy.. bravo
I have my moments. Especially when I spent 7 hours in the past 2 days looking for a wallet that ended up being in a bag that was sitting next to the bed all along. (see post on defining ignorance).
lol.. i was impressed and i would do that
Hey sunflower, couldnt find the collection tin, maybe behind the helium tank, or maybe its being clouded by the H2S??
It’s okay, the club takes Euros as well, close enough to bitter tears of defeat. The helium tank has O2 mixed in it, I thought the H2S was my chicken’s eggs. Damn.
hahahh
gone to my medical appointment guys. Its nice to see theres a commuity here on the same boat as me.
We’ll be here when you get back…
……..we are always……… here.
Stubborness and denial..I find myself in your words. Hi
hey passionforalways, hows it going? guess to get out of this fucking dark forest of stubborness ill have to start accepting, which is pretty hard for me right nw, but sounds like a way out emotionally. how you been coping?
someone knows if emails are visible?