Im not the only one lying to my freinds and family

My ” friend ” a girl I have knowen my entier life is depressed and suicidal. She recently told me she always angry and anxious, she can’t sleep or eat.

She is a normal person but   when she told me while she was crossing the street she wished a car turning would hit her so she can die. I wanted to blurt out welcome to the club, but instead I said “thats to Serious calm down all you did was go get coffe.”

Those words felt like Poissonin my mouth  I’ve been in her shoes, I am in her shoes. 

But I know she is just lost and feeling desperate. She is the last one of our age group to get married. She is only 19 but im 21 and been married for almost three years. All her friends are married or has been.

I feel so bad for her she was engaged but it broke off. And i know most of her sadness comes from there. The family she was gonna go to , messed with her head and embarrassed her and her family multiple times. They acted better than then  her and family wich they are not.

And her break down the other day had the blind leading the blind .  which was me applying all the advice I should be useing to her life . ” If you wanna get mad get mad , scream yell fuck them fuck your ex don’t get married it sucks ” ect.

Its not the first time a friend or family hinted towards depression. When  was 15 or 16 my sis and my cousin was walking to get ice cream. And my cousin asked ” do yous ever look around and imgaine all the Windows from the skyscrapers breaking and killing the people on the side walk?”   my sis quickly looked at her like a. She nutcases and ridiculed her, I tryed to look appalled while thinking ” oh My god she is as fucked up as me.” but what left my mouth was ” no why would you think that” and tried to get her to open up threw out the rest of the day.

I dont remember if I succesed or not but I understood why she felt that way. her mother tried to kill her self that year. she was all alone all her siblings were married and her parents would kill each other day and night and would stay with us for weeks .

but i think she ok now she is dealing with life but she is happily married her mother and father are doing much better. She is actually going with my parents and bros to Europe so im happy for her .

Well i dont know were im going with this it’s just some thoughts . but when my cousin said what she did years ago. I realizied I was not alone in my own family the person I shared a bed with felt as alone as I did as lost .

And since im going threw a strong depression again feeling lost and hopless homeless.  And once again I learn im not alone my friend is also feelin alone hopless and homeless.

So when your feel alone your not so dont feel so alone open your eyes so who is as helpless as se if you can help each other.