i don’t know what’s real,

i get deja vu so often i don’t know what’s real and it makes me panic. my head is all messed up and tied in knots and i can’t stop thinking about how this isn’t real, this is all fake somehow, i’m fake, and it makes me suicidal. i want to feel real again i haven’t felt really real in so long it makes me sick. i’m panicking right now and i don’t know what to do anymore just that i want to stop pretending to exist