I just feel defeated by life and at this point I’m seriously considering suicide. I’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts six years now but I feel so overwhelmed now by my life. Everybody thinks I’m of no importance and I’m threatened and ridiculed and bullied because I’m an effeminate guy and more so my mother seems uncomfortable to be seen in public with me. nothing is left for me but death and rest
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Welcome to this place. Keep talking here, it helps. Mind if I ask you (specifically): What’s gotten you so down? You just said “overwhelmed now by my life.” Which was quite general. And also, if you could, what’s your age?
I went back and reread your post. Ignore those bullies — focus on doing life. What I personally would do is I would call their bluff (the bullies). If it’s not a bluff, I would fight (no matter the size of the bully). Your mother seems to be uncomfortable with you in public? Hm… Instead of focusing on your mother’s apparant uncomfortableness, just focus on getting whatever you need done, done.
it’s hard to ignore them:they’re everywhere
and I don’t even know what I want at 18.I’m so confused about the direction I want my life to go
No seriously, just try that: IGNORE THEM.
18? No doubt, you’re still finding yourself. Get out there and get a full time job until you figure out what you really want to do with the rest of your life.
but why do I have to be the one to even be bullied? I’m a nice person and I try to do right when I can but it’s just never enough
If you aren’t doing this, look them in the eyes when they talk to you. Give a firm handshake, those kinds of things.
There’s a lot more. You’ll figure it out.