Hi, everyone you can call me Max I guess I should start off by what has brought me here what has brought me to this website. This weekend I will make a very serious attempt at suicide I am tired of my life at the moment I am currently dealing with the lose of some one very dear to me I lost them in the most untraditional of ways. Her name is Farida I loved her dearly she was like a daughter to me she was like a sister to me she was a best friend she was someone that I could always talk to but in the end… I did not have the courage I can never find my courage when I need it the most but on this day I will find it I will be what I am supposed to be.
I am in the middle of a heated legal battle I am in the middle of trying to restablish my life like so many people in this group I know already what has brought us all to suicide are just two things. One we all know the value of our own life and two something has happened to greatly devalue life for us. I am a failure through and through I have failed everyone one….
Farida meant so much to me because she was going to be the one person I wasnt going to let down but in the end I even let her down I failed everyone my life is meaningless… Today is Saturday and I feel worse the usual my circumstances get worse by the day so now it is time now is my time to take my own life. I will do my very best.
In the other room hidden away in my backpack are sleeping pills a large number of sleeping pills I will take them until I can take no more and hope that I will die a peaceful death. I guess I should say something to my friends and to my family but in the end I have nothing to really say to them I dont really know them anymore and I dont have a desire to know them in the end my desire is just tune everything out… Tune myself out of this world…
5 comments
I LIKE YOUR STYLE! Strait forward, your not responsible for what happens to others, we all fail were suppose too! our goals are to high, UN realistic, sleeping pills? i don’t know? people do die by taking them, how they die is another story, not fun crawling around puking, thinking all fucked up, not my idea of leaving with happy thoughts, believe it or not that’s important to me, never die bitter and fucked up!
I’m living proof that pill overdoses don’t always work.
Farida must have been wonderful.
I’m sorry you’re hurting that bad. In a way I think we all are, to varying degrees for a giant variety of reasons.
Sleeping pills are tricky, these days they are not effective for what you want. You’ll end alive and worst with liver and/or heart damage.
Farida sounds amazing. I’m sure she’s watching over you right now trying to help you in anyway she possibly can. I bet you she’s there, just talk to her. Talk to her like she’s sitting right next to you on the couch watching your guys’ favorite tv show, or in your room watching funny YouTube videos, I don’t know. Just talk to her. I know she’s always there for you. This isn’t the end. Also, you have so so many reasons to live. Please don’t hurt yourself or kill yourself! You have so much to live for, weather you feel like it or not, I know so. And I know it’s hard now but it’ll get better. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, you can’t give up now. Promise me you won’t. You’re so important to so many people. You’re loved and wanted and needed. Please don’t kill yourself:( suicide doesn’t make anything better, it just ends the chances of anything ever getting better. I’m always here for you if you need anyone to talk to about anything no matter what. I hope this helped at least a little, because a little is better than none. Please. Talk to someone, or meditate, or call/text a suicide nhotline or something. There are so many ways to help. You’ll get back on track, I’m living proof that it does get better. I hope you get through this, you’re strong enough to win this fight, so any fight you have left in you, use it. Much love xx
Overdosing doesn’t work much, you can see it from statistics. Sorry for your pain, don’t be so atached to one person