I find that when I hear about others who are going to kill themselves, no matter how physically far away they are from me, I feel absurdly comforted. Like, we’re in the same situation and we’re going to leave it soon. We may even find each other afterwards?
So, for my own sake, is there anyone else here dying soon? I’ve been trying for the past week, almost, but I keep having to cancel my plans in fear of being seen and whatnot. However, I do know that I don’t want to see Monday. Who’s leaving with me?
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I would love to, but I can’t make myself do it this close to my stepdads birthday, nor do I wish to burden my family any more and “taint” the holidays for them, so I have to wait a bit
My final expiration date is scheduled to be no later than february 21st, probably sooner, but after Christmas. Not gonna have them use “oh now he ruined Christmas too” as an excuse to complaint more.
I bid you happy travels tho, and a speedy one if you really don’t wanna see Monday
I know what you mean, especially with the Christmas thing. I’m so far in, though, that I don’t even care anymore. It’s not like we’ll be able to hear and put up with complaints once dead, you know?
yea, completely,
sadly certain people bitching negatively about me, is gonna effect some others, like my younger siblings, so I’m not gonna subject them to that
I might not be able to stay here for them any longer, but at least I can minimize the negative effect it could have for them a little bit.
Ya see Christmas – Easter – Birthdays — In your mind it means something but really It’s another day just like the last day . Sun goes up sun goes down .. People get up and go to work and live there happy or not so happy lives .. My brain looks at these as “happy” times which makes more excuses as why not to try again .. I don’t think anybody that’s dead has ever given a shit about Christmas holidays or birthdays .. Or how people view you actions .. I reckon after a year or two people would just raise there glasses and say here’s to that poor bastard – have a toast then cut lunch up .. Right before having a normal day as usual . Sorry if I sound like a downer but It’s my way of staying positive about the end .. When my Brother in law killed himself (lucky bastard ) As sad as it was and the guilt I also felt — Within two weeks Everybody was over the shock of it all and life went on as if he was never born .. good luck …
@mellowmoods
Christmas- Easter – Birthdays, holidays, mean nothing to me, but they do to some of the others, big time.
Add to that that some of them hold on a to a grudge, shame, negativity, blame for ever, they wear that shit like is a badge of fucking honor.
So even tho they will most definitely not give two fucks a couple of days/weeks later, and the reaming days of the seasons, whenever that particular holiday would appear, you can bet it would be brought up each time the moment occurred for a good long while
So I’m not gonna give them the satisfaction of “tainting” their precious holidays so they can ***** about me once every year indefinitely, nor subject the others, such as my siblings, to be forced to endure their bile, that they proudly will spew
i am on the verge but i can’t do it.
im giving myself a year to see how long i actually can live with myself.
I’m hoping my luck continues as normal and a meteor collides with my head at some point in the near future. That’ll save me a lot of annoying effort.
Hello “away” – Snorlax / nevermindhlp /riverts I don’t want to be here Monday as well but I’m sure I will be . Wish you could just flick a switch and that was that – But as we all know it’s deeper than that .. I always said (years ago) how people who bang on about killing themselves are just after attention .. HOW WRONG WAS I ? Attention -From whom ?? – Nobody would even know if I ended it – weather it be today / tomorrow or next week . It would take days to work out that the crazy fucker who lived alone with his dogs did himself in . I would help anybody out in return for the same . I would sit in a room with someone with the petrol generator banging in the background just for comfort . To say It’s Ok .. It’s hard alone with your thoughts . Every time I say yes there a shitty part in my mind saying no .. I hope we get there when the time is right ..
I know exactly what you mean. I would love to die with someone else, so that I could feel less alone.
PS – I hope it works for you – AWAY – Good luck in life or death .
Im with ya, It will be mission accomplished if I make it.
It’s not finding a method that has almost given me a nervous breakdown, although I’m not sure I give a shit about how gory the method is now.
Yeah ..The Gory stuff might be the quickest way .. I’ve been looking at all the sites tonight . U-Tube etc . Looked up the Helium thing (again) which sounds good to me but I’ll have to look into hiring a tank which I’m sure you can not here in my state . NSW’s maybe at a party hire shop .. Hanging – watched a few vids , Even practiced a bit with a belt and tried blocking the arteries in my neck -(Yeah I know -Fuckin around again) .Not sure I like that shit – Maybe after a few drinks ?? I’m still looking into the generator running in the house thing .. All this and Monday is only a couple of hours away .. Yes a nervous breakdown Woody — That’s one way of saying things .. The next one is the one – I’m doing my homework and getting a A+ next exam .. That’s if I gat sit the test first ????????? right .
The helium exit bag is the most ideal way to die, but I don’t trust myself to set up the tank properly with a regulator, etc., plus most helium tanks aren’t even 100% helium, rendering them ineffective. Hanging is the most reliable. Overdosing hardly works unless you have access to some hard shit, and I only have flimsy antidepressants. Otherwise, I’m not a fan of the gory methods. I’d rather avoid prolonged pain. Sigh…
I’m planning on it, maybe we will find each other afterwards.
I’m ready to go. Built my exit bag today, got the gas and all instructions.
you can email me brgoodn6 @ gmail . com
Hi again people – BEN001 – If this does NOT work and you live for what ever reason ..Please come back and tell me how things went wrong .. I am obsessing over this method and If it’s the way .. GOOD .. Happy thoughts to all of you ..
I am planning on using my pistol that I have. That should make it easy enough. Just drinking to get my mind around to it.